Pillow Talk

My eyes were idly fixed on the defused light of the setting sun
glimmering through a chink in the closed curtains.

I was aware of a movement behind me but did not stir, not even to the
sensation of lips brushing the back of my neck. Without looking I could
visualise Rachael, cheeks flushed, fair hair streaming over the
pillow.

'Well?' she whispered in a deep sultry tone.

I knew exactly what was on her mind but I played dumb. I had things on
my mind too. 'Well? What?' I groaned.

She snuggled closer. 'How was it?'

I was finding it difficult to remain distant but did so anyway.
'Mmm?not bad - you're improving.'

'Pig!' she snarled. A thump to my spine sent a dull ache reverberated
through my torso. I tried not to react and managed to stifle a sman
while I waited for the moment to pass.

'Seriously, what are you thinking?' she asked after the pause.

I remained distant. 'Just how we arrived here.'

'Taxi, wasn't it?'

'Sarcasm is my department,' I reminded her. 'You know exactly what I
mean,' I finally shifted over to face her. 'Remember how it was when we
first got together?' The question unsettled her. I sensed her uneasy in
my stare.

She propped herself up on one elbow, a perplexed look in her eye.
'Yeah, so what's with all the nostalgia?'

'I was just thinking how puritanical you were. Who'd have thought we
could ever wind up like this?'

She blushed a little and I watched her forehead crease into a
bewildered frown as she swiped a few stay strands of hair away. 'You
always said you respected me for that and you were prepared to
wait.'

'I hadn't got much of an option, had I?' I sneered. 'But the
frustration nearly had me climbing the wall. "Not now, Ed? Not here",'
I mimicked. '"Wait till"...'

She threw herself back and glared at the ceiling. 'So what girl wants
to be pinned against a wall, in a shop doorway, behind some bush in a
park, or on the front room couch for a quickie before the folks get
home? Your timing and choice of venue were bloody impeccable, not to
mention extremely romantic.'

I watched her eyes smoulder. There was nothing more challenging or
beautiful than Rachael when she'd got her dander up.

'Okay, what about that night at the Saint Patrick's Day party at Sean
and Brenda's? We were invited to stay over but you?'

Now her eyes flamed. 'Do you think it was easy for me? Anyway, Tommy
was there.'

'Ah, come on,' I baited, 'I've heard that one a dozen times. Your big
brother was so intent on getting Karen into the sack, he was hardly
going to throw any stones.'

She sidled up to me. While she squeezed her warm naked body against
mine, she pressed a finger against my lips and whispered. 'So, now I've
given you every opportunity to makeup for lost time all you want to do
is yap?'

'Sorry.' I captured her gaze full on. 'But don't you ever wish things
had worked out differently?'

Her brow furrowed again. 'Differently? Different to what? What could be
better? What's wrong with here and now?' She wriggled down the bed a
little further. Her arm looped across me and she began to massage the
small of my back. She knew that was certain to get me going. 'Do you
remember the afternoon at the Sheridan?' She chuckled
mischievously.

'The afternoon that nearly ran into the next morning?' Her
deep-throated tone and the memory she evoked tingled my every nerve
end. 'Mmm? Sure do?' I smirked at the recollection. 'Ouch!' Without
warning, she'd clamped her teeth on my earlobe.

'Wanna see if we can improve on it?' she growled seductively, her
breath hot on my cheek.

Despite the ferocity of my passion, there were questions I needed
answering. It was difficult but I managed to twist away. Deep in
thought, I fixed my eyes back on the curtains. 'Rachael, what
if?'

She thumped her head back down on the pillow. 'Ed!' I felt the slap of
her palm on my shoulder as she vented her fury. "You've just been
twittering on about that Saint Patrick's Day bloody years ago. You said
we'd wasted opportunities then, so why all the analysis now? Come on,
life's too short, and these days we don't get a chance like this very
often.'

'I know,' I concurred, 'but,' I sensed her body relaxing against mine
and I resisted the touch of her breast against the side of my ribs.
'I'm puzzled by how you've changed. I mean, why should a piece of paper
and a ring make all this difference?'

Rachael flared again. 'I've told you; it was just as difficult for me.
At least you could show your feelings - I had to conceal mine.'

'But why? That's what I've never understood. What was the pressure? Was
it your parents, family, what?' As I watched her bottom lip quivered it
came to me in a flash. 'Despite what you've said to the contrary, it
was all to do with marriage, wasn't it?'

'Don't be daft!'

I moved my head to fix my eyes on hers. 'Daft? I should know? Thinking
back, you told me often enough.'

I'd hit a nerve. Rachael glanced away to break eye contact. Then with
one sudden movement, she shot up in the bed, clutched the quilt around
her and drew her knees up to her chin. 'Okay, it was my upbringing,'
she confessed, staring at her feet. She then went on with less
certainty, 'I think? I suppose being a Catholic; it was drummed into me
so often it stuck.' She was embarrassed by what she was about to say. I
could tell by the way the words stuck in her throat. 'It wasn't? It
wasn't the prospect of committing carnal sin, it was the fear of the
shame of falling pregnant.'

'But you know I'd never be that irresponsible. And why the big change
now?'

Her eyes flared even brighter. 'Come off it!' she gave a nervous
giggle. 'You were young - a randy young chancer. Are you telling me all
those times you tried to get into my knickers you had the necessary
protection to hand?'

She had me. I couldn't argue with that. I swung the onus back on her.
'And now?'

'I'm mature, and married.'

I liked to think I knew Rachael far more intimately than anyone but I'd
always sensed there was something she was holding back from me. Perhaps
then and there was not the most appropriate time but it was something
I'd always meant to get to the bottom of. Now I'd opened up the topic I
was determined not to let it slip.

'Married?' I laughed. 'If that's all it was, all you had to do was give
me a sample of what was to come - what we have now, and I wouldn't have
hesitated. I'd have married you on the spot, right there and then. It
all seems so ludicrous now. Why,' I bleated on, 'didn't you at least
give me just one little taste? It would've avoided a lot of heartache
on both sides. So why didn't we do it then?'

She glared at me amazed. 'You'd have married me way back then, just to
get your leg over?'

Her eyes held me transfixed, making it impossible for me to lie. 'Well,
er?yes,' I confessed.

'Then I'd have said no.'

'Why?'

'Because I don't see that as being a firm basis for marriage.'

'S'pose you're right and that's just what I'm saying; didn't what
started off as a leg-over develop into something of far greater
magnitude? So if I'd known sex with you could be like it is?'

'So it all comes down to sex! All you see me as a good lay, isn't
it?'

'Well, be truthful, isn't that what you think of me?'

She paused with indecision. It was as if she was badly needed to
explain but couldn't or, maybe, thought she shouldn't. She didn't even
attempt an answer, instead, she responded with that hurt little look of
hers and asked, 'Will you stop this third degree?' Then sliding down,
she rolled on to me, pinned my hands down and clamped her mouth over
mine.

When our lips parted, she asked, 'We're here, it's now, what more do
you want?'

I gazed up. The sight of her sensuous contours, exaggerated and almost
rendered to monochrome in the soft evening light made it near
impossible to resist any longer. 'Just one last thing?' I panted
breathlessly, '

Rachael rammed two fists full of knuckles into my chest and glared down
at me daggers. I gazed up at her hair tumbling provocatively over her
shoulders and down her breasts. Her eyes narrowed and challenged mine.
'Oh God! Now what?' she snapped.

'Well, all that time ago, when you told me things could never be like
this until you were married, I thought you meant to me.'

THE END