Just me
By Firebird
Sun, 18 Oct 2009
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1 comments
I wonder if I can call a cloud a friend?
It shadows from afar
and when I walk it follows me
No talk , no fear , just dark...
I walk through fields, it shades the skies
through sunshine and through storms;
My tears fall from it's greying eyes,
no talk , no fear , just dawn...
My loneliness , my dear , complete ,
I feel you endlessly;
The cloud is just a friend , you see
No talk , no fear , just me.
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Comments
Love the varied repetition
Love the varied repetition of the last lines of each stanza and the idea and feel of the poem. Not so keen on the penultimate line the "you see" doesn't fit the introspective mood - perhaps a little polishing required.
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