Childhood Lies

Hey Diddle Diddle played hot on his fiddle
With that red riding hood gal on his lap,
Then little miss Muffet so jealous for Diddle,
Gave miss Riding Hood a good slap.

Inkin, Blinkin, and Nod one night,
All three in a draw hot after a fight.
Nod reached for his gun but blinkin reached first,
Then Inkin turned to himself in a burst.

While Jack and Jill, all alone on the hill,
Make love as they play in the water.
Ole Rumble Stilskin he's at it again,
Out peeking at the ministers daughter.

And the three little pigs slept out in the street,
As Humpty Dumpty got high.
He staggered and fell out from under his feet,
As little Bo Peep ran by.

And all the king's horses and all the king's men,
Got drunk with the girls at the brothel again.
While Little boy blue and the man in the moon,
Rolled dice with the boys at the local saloon.

So Jack from the beanstalk didn't climb anymore,
And little Bo Peep was a bit of a whore,
Each night she wept while her husband beat her,
Each day she slept with Peter Pumpkin Eater.