Lunatics

Lunatics

These are often found on the streets of the "urban environment". Often
congregated on communal seating. They are unkempt in appearance and
often accompanied by a token Scragg (see; tramp), they are identifiable
by their propensity to cling onto a can of Special Brew. It is usual to
encounter "lunatics" after they have consumed a number of these
beverages (any time after 10 am) on the way to one's club. Extreme
caution should by taken if the "lunatic" one encounters is singing any
football chant (see; base sports), especially if they are attired in
green and white, this may a Celtic fanatic and is the worst type of
lunatic. Any attempt to converse with such an individual is unadvisable
and in any event futile.