Head in the Sand

I watched her walk towards the door
Her guilt forcing her stare to the floor
Out with a friend she hasn’t seen for years
Me, hiding my secret tears

New perfume
New gold
New bag to hold
I’ve never seen them before
But she assures me they’re old

Should I stay quiet, or ask the question?
Ignorance is bliss, I couldn’t stand the objection
We’ll have few words when she returns
I’ll go to bed before an argument burns

Next time I’ll follow, like a little sneak
Under surveillance
Learning how to cheat
My soul is for the taking
I feel so weak

It’s tonight or never, here I go
Should I turn back? No, I need to know!
This has to be done, for my own sanity
Having my trust abused is not vanity!

Oh god! There she is
I dive into the abyss
Out of control
Spinning around
I hide behind my wall of anguish

I spy a mating ritual
It takes place before my eyes
It rips through my heart, selfishly but precise
I cannot look away even though I try
It’s like a drug
And even though I’ve had too much I still want more
Every detail, to the core!

I proceed to drink from the cup of jealousy
And gorge myself on the contents religiously
Hating it but needing it
More and more
Dribbling down my chin
Like a greedy whore

I return to the arena and wait for the fight
She comes in and I shine my light
It isn’t enough and she stamps on me
Like an insect near to death
Too wounded to flee

Alone in my prison I lick my wounds
I have lost the battle and the war
The knowledge that I hungered for is now my only friend
And I wish that I had left my head firmly in the sand.