Listen!

People love to talk.
Mainly about themselves.
Luckily I’ve perfected the art of listening over the years.
Looking very interested, even bewildered when required.
Nodding, half smiling with interest.

1st rule - Never do a full smile; it won’t last the long haul. It’s very difficult to retreat from a smile during a story, so less is more

2nd rule – Keep eye contact

3rd rule - Hold a prop, a pen for example; constant eye contact can become uncomfortable for both listener and victim so you can always glance at the prop to reset the stare

4th rule - Say “Really?”, a lot while tilting the head

5th rule – With practice rules 1,2,3 & 4 can be combined to fool the most experienced story teller

I’ve endured stories about everything.
Yarns so fanciful, losing touch with reality.
I’ve often wondered if my talents are wasted on these people.
Do they really deserve my honed responses to their boring adventures?

A moment of bravado washed over me.
I would tell a story about myself; once they had finished of course, besides, it would be vulgar to interrupt.
The moment approached, and I readied myself to receive the baton.
Once he had finished we laughed, and he turned away while laughing at his own work.
Here was my chance!
I started my story, nervous, but excited about the change of direction.
He paused and very slowly turned back…
I told my story, and during this excruciating delivery I realized something;
he was using all the tricks that I do! Not very well though.
He nodded, actually looking interested at one point, but he let himself down by doing a full smile too early and ran aground! Amateur!
I raced through the rest of my story to save his facial muscles, and before long it was over, never to be repeated.

I learned an important lesson that day…
Nobody cares! Not even me!