All I want for Christmas

All I want for Christmas is another lateral flow test,
Just so that I can gag and sneeze and feel that I am blessed.
There's nothing quite so seasonal as nasal penetration,
To see if I have to spend until next year in isolation.
I don't care for Santa and his toy filled bag,
I just want to scrape my tonsils 'til I start to gag.
Some people want a turkey dinner, and see the queen on the box,
Others want PS5s, or Nerf Guns, but probably will get socks.
But I just want a lateral flow for Christmastime this year,
I love the anticipation as I wait for the all-clear.
And if the jolly fat-man doesn't leave one on my bed,
Then I'll just pop out on boxing day for a PCR instead.