A Close Shave - Part 10 - A Craven Danger Mystery

This young lady is Betty Fletcher,” said Mrs. Danger. “She’s Craven’s assistant.

“You intoxicate me with your fragrance,” said Thelma. “What is it you’re wearing?”

“It’s called Jungle Fever,” said Betty. “I found it at the drug store. The bottle was a little dusty, but I thought it would go swell with my leopard outfit.”

“A wise choice,” said Thelma. “I’ve no doubt you will have the men pouncing from their seats.”

“I should be so lucky,” said Betty. “But the only pouncing I’m anticipating tonight is gonna come from a dog named FDR.”

“You are a funny one, you are,” said Thelma.

“I got a good straight man” said Betty. “We’re a regular Abbott and Costello.”

“I am not understanding,” said Thelma.

“Never mind,” said Betty. “It ain’t that important.”

And this is Craven, my younger son.”

Thelma shook Craven’s hand and was not quick to let go.

“Pleasure to be making such an acquaintance as yourself," said Thelma. “You have very strong and handsome features, Mr. Danger. Much like your brother Derek. But as I hold your hand in mine I am sensing that we may be more than just acquaintances in the near future. Yes?”

“You better be sensin’ a gin rummy partner,” said Betty. “Or your gonna be sensin’ my bad manners in about two minutes.”

“I only meant that perhaps Mr. Danger would like to know what the future has in store for him,” said Thelma. “I have been known to change the way a man thinks about things. And I guarantee that you, the lovely Betty, would benefit greatly if only I were allowed but a fifteen minute session with your Mr. Danger.”

“Only if I get ta sit in on this session,” said Betty. “‘Cause if Mr. Danger’s gonna change the way he thinks about things, I wanna get in on the ground floor. Personally, I don’t think it’s possible. His skull is thicker than any man I ever knew.”

“I see how it is,” said Thelma. “Then perhaps Mr. Danger is not a suitable subject for my gifts after all. I will pursue it no longer, dear lady.”

“Who’s not suitable?” said Craven. “You just point me in the right direction. I’ll show ya who’s suitable!”

“Oh, why don’t we just stop all this dumb talk,” said Betty,“and start talkin’ straight? Are ya or are ya not runnin’ a brothel outta Mrs. Danger’s basement?”

“Brothel?” said Thelma.

The first to hear the police sirens was FDR. The last to be put in the paddy wagon was Betty.

“Prostitute?” said Betty. “I ain’t even let a guy get ta second base yet!”

“Tell it ta the judge in the morning,” said the arresting officer. “We got a written complaint from every wife in the neighborhood. They’re ready ta burn the place down. It’s for your own safety. Now get in the wagon and relax. It’s gonna be along night.”