Cupid and the Moose Lips Slammer

A wily yellow moon flashed a beam of light across the brow of one Sidney J. Cupid.

"Hey! Cut that out!" Sidney said to the moon. "Me and you was through a long time ago! I gotta get to work."

Cupid was down on his luck and picked up spare change as a men's room attendant at a run down club in the heart of the Big Easy.

Sidney J. Cupid entered the men's room and set up his table of wares: industrial sized bottle of Aqua Velva after shave, quart sized bottle of Listermint - paper cups on the side, paper hand-towels, and an assortment of questionable condoms.

One of the bus boys entered, and handed Sidney his usual: a Moose Lips Slammer with a twist of Lemon. (One drink that guarantees you'll wake up with a moose, or something that looks very much like a moose.)

"Thanks," said Sidney. "How's business?"

"Picking up," said the bus boy. "How's it going in here?"

"It stinks," said Sidney.

They both laugh at their joke, and the bus boy went back to the kitchen, leaving Sidney to contemplate his fallen state.

Sidney J. Cupid was a North American Matchmaker for over twenty years. Then he got fed up.

"I do for everyone else," he said to the empty stalls. "What does anyone do for me? When is it my turn?"

After a half dozen Moose Lips Slammers, Sidney was blind. He wandered into the adjoining ladies' room and sat down at the attendant's table.

The ladies' room attendant was in one of the stalls, and Sidney told its occupant to give it a complimentary flush.

"You’re killing me here!" said Sidney.

That said, the stall door bust open and out stepped the biggest moose Sidney had ever seen.

He handed her a moistened towelette, and wondered how she ever managed to get her dress over a head that huge.

It was love at first sight.

"I got a room," said Sidney. "But you gotta promise to be quiet. They don't allow animals."

"If I gotta keep it quiet," said the moose, "I ain't doin' my best."

With that said, Sidney mounted the moose and rode off in search of the meaning of life. (Or accommodations that were both sound-proof and moose friendly. Whichever came first.)