Igor Comes Clean

Igor was giving the creature his weekly bath.

"Take that duck out of your mouth!" said Igor.

"And stop playing with THAT! You want it to go off again? Not on my watch it doesn't!"

"Scrub back!" said the creature. "Ahhh ... Scrubbing goood! Me like bath! Igor take bath, too!"

With that, the creature pulled Igor into the bathtub.

"You couldn't wait till I took me bloody clothes off?" wailed Igor.

As Igor sat soaking in the warm water he rested his hump against the creature’s bosom and began to reflect on his life thus far.

"Let's see . . . born a club-footed humpback . . . abandoned in the graveyard when I was a baby . . . adopted by Henry Frankenstein when he discovered my talents as a gravedigger and body-parts specialist . . . now playing nursemaid to Dr. Frankenstein’s mad creation. (My fault for that one. I dropped the good brain.) Is the Lord seeking revenge for some past indiscretion? Have I offended thee?

Suddenly, the roar and clank of a fire wagon could be heard in the distance.

"Damn fire wagon!" murmured Igor.

"Fire!" screamed the monster. "Not like fire! Fire baaad!"

The monster rose quickly, smashing his head through the plaster ceiling.

And, as the monster stood there with his head in the darkness, Igor grabbed a towel and began to dry the panic stricken creature.

There but for the grace of God go I, I suppose, thought Igor. "It's alright, friend," he said. "It's alright . . . "