The Young Man

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Jane Hyphen

Thu, 03 Apr 2025
  • 379 reads
15 comments
 

 

The young man left his home

with only the urge

to fall off the end of the earth.

Dressed as he was 

in the worn fibres 

of his brittle sleeps

where he ran himself dry

on an endless circuit,

his grip ever weaker

upon the weathered rails.

 

Checking himself in the mirror

one last time.

Staring into the distortion,

as the glass began to swallow him

and then he knew for sure

that he was in the past.

Lacing his shoes

the way he was taught.

Feeling himself grow hollow

under gaunt street lights.

He walked for the first time

as free as the untamed creatures.

 

He’d lined his resolve

with the layers of each thing

he’d let go of; the things he loved,

the things he just couldn’t find a way 

of ever getting close to,

and the layers kept him warm

on this cold night.

A rushing inside his head,

the same as his mother’s womb,

a passing car, the blink of time,

the nothingness and the company of stars.

 

Walking until the body 

he was in, grew weak.

A space among the trees.

Dropping his unspent days

like coins to sink into the cold soil.

And the last thing he saw

was the shimmer of the sun

upon the stream of memories,

never deep enough for the swim of life.

 

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Powerful and incredibly sad - well done Jane

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you Insert. This sort of things seems to be happening so often, young men go missing and the end is the saddest one.

 

Submitted by Schubert on

Wow! Jane, this was quite something. The first verse was outstanding, especially 'dressed as he was in the worn fibres of his brittle sleeps.' Very powerful.

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you for your comment Schubert. I sometimes think the days when many of us worked outside and had a good night's sleep without distractions were much healthier for our minds as well as our bodies.

 

Submitted by celticman on

you've turned feeling or lack of it, into words that carry us with him and his hopelessness. Well done. 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you celticman. I've been feeling really sad about a couple of young men who went missing near to where I live. Both were found dead. It's unbelievably tragic and indicative of the challenges our youngsters are facing.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

The words "Young man" used to hold energy and hope. But I don't know anyone who feels that, now. Stars are cold company. "Lacing his shoes the way he was taught" made me think of how even if you do everything right, try hard, it doesn't matter. The only space for you is "between trees". This is one of yours to read again and again

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you, Di. It really did, a young man, full of potential and promise. Doing everything the right way and still there's a high risk our young people won't get anywhere near a sense of fulfilment and the basics needed to survive plus a bit more to build on. 

 

Submitted by Turlough on

It's nice to think that humans could walk as free as the untamed creatures. It takes a lot of bottle for us to turn our backs on the superficial trappings that deter us from it while for many there is no choice.

Strong words to describe a desperately sad situation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Turlough

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Turlough, thanks for reading and taking the time to leave a comment. As free as the untamed creatures, yes, my motto is you should aways keep a small portion of yourself feral, of course this can express itself in many different ways. 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Congratulations! This is Poem of the Week!

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you !

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This very powerful poem is our social media Pick of the Day

Please share far and wide

Picture Credit: https://tinyurl.com/nhaszc9u

 

Submitted by lenchenelf on

Thoughtful, and cradles quiet despair back to earth....

I like the way you write, in general  folk can walk in, superficially explore your gallery in spite of small signposts suggesting, erm, there is more, but will still take away a small something. 

Then, there are your layers, and ma'am, you always add layers.

Best to you

L x

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you, Lenchen for your thoughtful comment. I love it x