GOOD TO BE SOMEBODY

It was a cloudy Thursday morning and Maya was on leave today. She did not know why, but here she was sitting and waiting for her name to be announced so that she could meet the well-known psychologist in her town, Dr.Elizabeth. Dressed in complete black, Maya looked even gloomier than never before. She was 25,blonde and fair but always looked dull and tired. Maybe because it was ‘all work and no play’ for her.

“Miss Maya Brown”, atlast her name was announced. Knocking at the door she entered inside the room. Dr.Elizabeth, in her 40’s, guessed Maya, seemed very charming and warm.

“Good Morning Doctor. I am Maya Brown.”

“ A very nice morning Miss Maya, Please be seated “

Maya sat down and started to look around the room. She could not understand what to say. Whether she should start the conversation or whether the doctor herself would. The doctor was going through some documents at that time, probably, belonging to the last patient or some other patient. Keeping them aside after couple of minutes the doctor started herself “ I am sorry I just had few things to be written there before I forgot. Anyways, Miss Maya…so…Can I know your problem dear?”
Maya kept on staring down. She did not know why she was here. She wanted to run away. The doctor said nothing. She could feel Maya’s hesitation. But when there was no reply at all she thought of breaking the ice herself “ Just relax dear and discuss with me what you feel. You can trust me. Whatever you say will be between you and me only”, assured Dr.Elizabeth. Her warm tone calmed Maya a little but still she wanted to get away from here as soon as she could.

“I really don’t know why I am here or what brought me to you. I am sure I don’t have any psychological problem, but I …I…”She stopped.

“Go on dear”

“I …I am always so edgy and dissatisfied. My colleagues say that I am unrealistic and unreasonable .I myself feel so miserable at times.” Another pause

“Ahan….and… “

“I am unable to think about anything except the mistakes I have made in my life”

“Do you have a job?”

“Yes, I am a teacher.”

“That’s very good… Hmm…do you think you are extremely competitive? “

“Yes, I am…I think I am! “

“OK…Tell me, do you always set a standard for your performance?”

“Yes, I do “

“And you chide yourself if your performance is below the standard you have set for yourself?”

“Yes”

“Why do you feel miserable?”

“I don’t know…I…I…always believe that others expect me to be perfect but I never fulfill their expectations. I think that’s why I feel left out or miserable…all others around me seem to be perfect. I still don’t know if I have done the right thing coming here!”

“Oh come on. You sure are at the very correct place. Your case is very simple dear. You call it Perfectionism. You are a perfectionist and I say if it takes extreme form it definitely becomes an illness, personality disorders you may say. And my listening to you only for few minutes makes it very much clear that you are a socially prescribed perfectionist because you believe that others expect you to be perfect. You said you are competitive. That’s excellent. One should be competitive but you should always have a healthy competitive attitude. Set realistic goals and learn to take criticism positively and try to be a little less self-critical. Try getting feedback on what different people think of your efforts. Its very easy .You are so young. Live your life. See what you expect from yourself and not what others do. It really does not matter what others say most of the time. Nobody’s perfect and I am sure nobody in this world is ‘nobody’. You are somebody and somebody is never perfect. Am I right? What do you say?”

Maya was smiling. Yes, she was SOMEBODY. The feeling of being ‘NOBODY’ had made her what she was. She was happy to be at the right place at the right time.