Anxiety Rules
By jennifer
- 2652 reads
Anxiety Rules
(World Mental Health Day)
Jennifer Pickup (10.10.2023)
It started when first my body rebelled,
Took hold of my confidence like a spell,
It played on my vulnerable teenage mind,
And made me leave rational thought behind.
Did you turn off the oven? Close the door?
Step right on the cracks in the kitchen floor?
Are the windows locked? Are the lights turned off?
Are you sure there’s nothing that you forgot?
What about the switches on the sockets?
And you closed the door, but did you lock it?
Did you turn off this, that, and the other?
One tour of the house, and then another.
I go back and check, not just once but twice,
I’m guided by demons of strange device,
But no matter how many times I try,
It’s never enough, I cannot deny.
I’ll be wondering all the way to school,
If I ever turned off a light at all,
Whether unlocked doors are yet to be found,
If the house is on fire and burning down.
Keep washing my hands in the kitchen sink,
I’m covered in germs, of that I’m convinced,
Covid added a higher neurosis,
New obsession to feed my psychosis.
Anxiety Rules are too hard to break,
You become so scared to make a mistake,
Keep it so quiet, but then friends find out,
Which adds to the burden of your self-doubt.
Some people observe me and criticise,
They laugh and they mock, keep rolling their eyes,
Others get over-exasperated,
And then I feel even more frustrated.
Life trudges on by and you learn to cope,
You leave extra time for the hanging rope,
Set early alarms, allow for the dance,
You wish you could skip it, but there’s no chance.
If reading this feels like your own story,
I promise I’m not stealing your glory,
I wished to let you in on my secret:
I’m struggling too. But can you keep it?
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Comments
I'm sure this will strike a
I'm sure this will strike a chord with many many others here Jennifer - thank you for sharing, especially today
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no secret when anxiety hits
no secret when anxiety hits us it plays on our body as well as our mind. great poetry.
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When I read this poem, it
When I read this poem, it could have been written about me. I do suffer with many of the above mentioned. Anxiety should be my middle name, but it never used to be like that, it's only since getting older that it's hit me hard.
Thank you for sharing this, because at least now I know I'm not alone.
Jenny.
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Pick of the Day
Warm, honest and so very relatable - this is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day! Please do share/retweet.
Thanks for posting this, Jennifer. It's a beautiful and courageous piece.
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Congratulations Jennifer -
Congratulations Jennifer - hopefully you'll get more reads now as this piece so very much deserves to have
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I'm a such a fan of your works Jenn
A master of smoothness projecting emotions in words and in this case, a complexity, fun to read and explains it... Its a gift
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This is our Poem of the Week
This is our Poem of the Week - Congratulations!
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Yes, struck a chord. I admire
Yes, struck a chord. I admire you for writing it. I know what it's like. And it's exhausting. But all these things, they're all being human.
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Jennifer, if you read this, I hope you don’t mind…
I’ve been thinking about you and your writing lately. Your words always had a way of leaving an impression, much like the rhythm of your name—five clipped syllables, like the steady click-clack of a train moving along the tracks, carrying ideas from one place to another. I miss those exchanges, the ideas we shared, especially about the relationship between music and memory, old pianos with worn keys.
This last poem has stayed with me and it appears to be the last thing you submitted. I hope you’re alright, wherever you are.
I’d love to hear from you again. Even just a line or two. Your words have a way of picking things up, setting them in motion, making them resonate.
Take care, Jennifer. I’m thinking of you.
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