Julian asks about Dogs.

"Mum, can we get a dog?"

Wow, wasn't expecting that, he has never shown any interest in dogs before, in fact I thought he was scared of them.

" It's difficult darling, we're out all day and dogs need a lot of care and attention"

"So when can we get one?"

" As I said, not yet, maybe next year"

" When next year?"

" When we have more time to look after it"

God he's persistent this morning, went for 2 weetabix, maybe should have just given him one!"

"What dog would we get? Tommy Atkins in my class has got a Peekachoo"

" A what?"

" A Peekachoo!"

" Thats not a real dog darling, I think Tommy is telling fibs"

That Tommy is a bloody Walter Mitty always telling lies, just like his mother!"

"He said its two dogs put together, I think he said a Peek in eese and Shits ooo?"

"Oh really, yes that could be true then, that works. He may have been telling the truth after all, is it a little dog?"

"Yes, its got a little body and a squashed in face!"

Trust his mother to have a bloody handbag dog, she'll turn up at the school with her high heels and short skirt, fake boobs and now a handbag dog, typical.

"Thats nice darling, whats it called?"

"Jordan!"

Thought so, trash!

" Thats nice, what a lovely name"

"Billy Smith in my class has also got a little dog, he's really nice. His Mum brings him when she comes to the school to get Billy"

She's a nice lady.

" Thats nice darling, whats Billy's dog called?"

" Nothing"

"What do you mean"

"He's called NOTHING!"

He must have got that wrong.

"So Billy's dog is called NOTHING?"

"Yes mum thats what they call him"

"Why do they call him that I wonder?"

"Well, he's also two dogs put together"

"What two dogs?"

" I think he said a Jack Russell and a Shitzoo!"

Ok, eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school!

What is the world coming to!!!!!!!!!