Julian asks about Jesus

"Mum, was Jesus born on a farm?"

Yep, thought so, 8.07am, weetabix must have just hit his stomach and sent signals to his brain"

"Not on a farm darling, but he was born in a stable"

Just remembered he's doing his nativity play next week.

"Were there lots of animals in the barn?"
"Yes darling"
"What sort of animals?"

Musn't mention Swans!

"Chickens,Ducks,Donkeys and a few sheep"
"No Swans?"
"No Darling no Swans!"

Bloody Swans.

"So it was Jesus, his mum and dad and the animals"
"Thats it Darling, and later there were the three wise men"

Hope this doesn't get too deep, can't remember all the bloody story.

"Mum, whats French Incest?"

What did he say?

"Sorry Darling, what was that?"
"Whats French Incest?"

Bloody hell where did that come from? He's only six, not seven till March. Incest? Stay calm don't over react.

"Why do you ask that, where have you heard that from?"

Act normal as if its just normal words, stay focused, don't let him see that you are actually terrified!

"Well, I'm one of the three wise men and I'm carrying Gold for Jesus. Martin Thomas is a wise man as well and he's giving French Incest as his present"

Thank God, Thank God.

"No Darling its not French Incest, its Frankincence"
"Frank in Sense?"
"Yes, its a posh perfume"

Phew, that was close, easy one to get away with though, no harm done.

"Good, cos Tommy Atkins said it was when foriegn people marry their mums!"
"Ok, eat up or you'll be late for school!"

Bloody Tommy Atkins, I'll kill him!