Julian Asks About Toast.

Julian asks for something different for breakfast.

Just given him his coco pops, which he loves. They’re his favourite. We usually do that thing where we both say “ So chocolately they even turn the milk brown.”  Just like they do in the advert. But today for some reason we didn’t. I wonder why? Maybe because it’s his school play coming up tomorrow. Maybe he’s a bit nervous about it. But, at last my boy’s the star attraction. He’s Joseph. Last year he was one of the three kings. He was brilliant of course apart from the last line which he just couldn’t get right.

“Mum?”

“Yes darling.”

“Can I change these Coco pops for toast?  I like toast. Can I have toast for breakfast like daddy does?”

Oh my god, he’s become a grown up. Toast? Bloody toast? He’s just ten, yet he wants a proper breakfast.  Mind you he’s almost eleven, so maybe we have a new man in the house! My little boy has all grown up. I am SO proud.

“Of course you can sweetheart. Toast coming up in five minutes. What do you want on it? Butter, Jam, or something else?”

“I’ll have what daddy has on it.”

He is so in tune with his Dad. He must have been watching him for ages.

“Well, sometimes daddy has jam on his toast, and sometimes he has marmalade and sometimes he has that chocolate spread thing. What one would you like?”

“No none of that. I want what daddy has when we go to the café on a Saturday morning.”

Café? Café? What the hell is he talking about. The two of them go to Asda for me on a Saturday morning to get groceries.

“Sorry darling, what do you mean about the café?”

“Well me and Daddy get the shopping done really fast so that we can get to the café across the road. Dad likes the foreign lady who takes the money. She’s always laughing and sometimes she forgets to do up the buttons on her shirt. Dad laughs at this and gives her a wink. I have toast with an egg on top.”

That bastard is supposed to be on a diet. He had the cheek to call me “Plump” the other day and secretly he’s having a bloody fry up in a café with some Russian tart!

“Really. What does daddy have?”

“He has something called, The Big One. It’s a breakfast with eggs and bacon and chips and beans and mushrooms and sausages and something called bubble. Oh, and toast.”

BASTARD! No wonder his new trousers are too tight. I swear I’ll kill him when he gets home.

“Mum?”

“Yes!”

What does he want now!

“Are you going to dress up as an elf on Saturday?”

What the hell is he going on about?

“No darling. Why would I do that?”

“Oh, I thought all ladies were going to.”

“Why?”

“Because the nice laughing foreign lady in the café said she’ll dress up as an elf on Saturday just for daddy and I thought that maybe all ladies were doing it.”

BARSTARD……………………………………!

“Right, you’re too bloody young for toast. Toast is off. Eat your coco pops or you’ll be late for school.”