Julian asks about the War

"Mum, who's Zaddam You Zane?"
"Sorry, what was that Darling?"

Yep as I thought, the cheerios have kicked in.

"Zaddam You Zane, who is he?"
"Why do you ask Darling?"
"On the tele, they just said that the war with Zaddam You Zane is over and all the soldiers can go home"

Wow, this is good, very good, hes understanding news stories and wants to know more, he's bright, very bright, only six and yet he wants to know about world events.Keep it simple, don't want to get into the rights and wrongs of war and killings. Here goes.

"Well Saddam Hussien was a nasty man, who was being really nasty to his people so lots of people around the world sent there armies to fight him and stop him being nasty to his people anymore"

Well done, nice, simple and to the point.

"Did they kill the nasty man?"
"Yes Darling, they had to kill the nasty man and then he could not be nasty anymore!"

Brilliant, just right , no detail just fact.

"Did he have green hair?"
"Who?"
"The nasty man"
"No, why do you ask that?"
"Cos in Batman there is a nasty man called the Joker and he has green hair"
"No its not the Joker"
"The Penguin?"
"No"
"The Riddler?"
"No No No, its none of these people"

Damn. seemed to have got myself in a corner here.

"But you said he was a nasty man and all these people are nasty"

Be carefull, no idea where this could go.

" Well he was like the Joker, didn't have green hair but he was nasty"

Thast should do it,but I now have this vision of Saddam Hussien dressed as the Joker from Batman,

"The goblin?"
"What"
"The Goblin, he was the nasty man from Spiderman!"

My head hurts, this is getting too much, in a minute I'm going to have to tell him that all these people are ficticious and don't really exist. Then he's going to ask me what other people he thought were real don't exist, then I'm going to have to tell him about the tooth fairy and, oh my god, Father Christmas. No, no way, not now, not this time of year it would crush him. I can't do it. Ok think about it, calm down, lets do it later, so for now just go along with it, what harm can it do. Here goes

"Sorry Darling, Mummy got it wrong, Saddam Hussein is the Joker from Batman"
"Wow, and all the Worlds Armies killed him, can't wait to tell everyone at School"

Oh Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!