My Sisters Weight

I remember quite clearly when I was eight
My older sister had put on weight
Six years older, she was, than me
The extra weight was plain to see.

The radio was playing and we all sat down
My Sisters face just wore a frown
She looked all sad and teary eyed
I thought at first someone had died

"Its Puppy Fat" was all Mum would say
"In a few weeks time it will go away"
"Everyone at your age gets a bit lumpy"
"Its perfectly normal so don't get humpy".

Dad just smiled, with a silly grin
"I remember you when you were thin"
"Only joking love, your just a bit fat"
"Bit bigger than before, nothing wrong with that".

Dad said something about a beached whale
I laughed and said she was off the scale
Mum said "Perhaps its her thyroid glands"
Sis just sat there head in hands.

"Oh come on love, its just a bit of fun"
"Perhaps you should exercise,or go for a run"
"Maybe a diet will do the trick"
"Or those Milk shake things all nice and thick".

Sis stood up and faced us all
Expressionless, back to the wall
She really had a larger figure
Especially up top, her chest was bigger!

She took a moment then quietly said
"I'm feeling tired, I'm going to bed"
"But before I do I'll tell you now"
"The reason I'm a big fat cow!"

"Its not because of Puppy Fat"
"Its not my Thyroid or things like that"
"The reason that my hips are wide"
"I've got a baby growing deep inside!"

Mum went white and Dad went Red
Sis ran off, straight up to bed
Radio was playing Simon and Garfunkel
"Great news" I said, "I'll be an Uncle!"