Tie Me Up Tie Me Down

I am the salaryman
I dress in grey and bland
By the watercooler I plot and plan
To make my final stand
It’s cheesed me very off
By request of mister boss
I’m bonded to the office
By this gaudy scrap of cloth

Tie me up
Tie me down
Hang me high
Spin me ‘round
Stick this in your Blackberry
Every day is dress down Friday

In the meeting room I mope
The dog chain heeled to choke
I’m a convict in the rope
I’m an ox under the yoke
It’s becoming such a drag
Strangled by this foolish rag
In my Burton’s single whistle
This’ll liberate the gulag

Tie me up
Tie me down
Drag my body
‘Round the town
Stick a label on your wallplan
This human resource is a free man.

Look at those drones in their monochromes,
Embellished with their silly tie.
Their gilded cage, they’ve lost the rage;
And little wonder why.
Scared of the world, they crave protection.
Chained to the railings of their pensions.
Insurrection! I refuse!
I’ve got a staple gun and I’m not afraid to use________it.