Group Think

                                   Group Think

                       I grew up in a very good home, with eleven brothers and sisters. We lived in a blue collar neighborhood where such large families were the norm, not the exception. As a consequence, from childhood on, we always sought to distinguish ourselves on the field of sport, in academics, or in some other area of social behavior, where we might stand out a bit and make a name for ourselves. Sometimes we succeeded, sometimes we merely got tagged as social misfits, who didn’t quite fit the mold. It bred in us a striving for individuality, something that would give us an edge and help us climb a bit higher on the socio-economic pyramid.

It was then something of a surprise to many of us, when we entered adulthood, that we were expected to behave, act and be like everyone else. Anyone standing out from the crowd, by thought or action, was destined for what we later found out was called the “Japanese Solution. “ That venerable culture has a proverb which states that “any nail, that sticks out, should be hammered back into place, with all of the force society can bring to bear.”

Perhaps the penultimate example of this “group think” is today found in what we call the modern day “country club setting.” Within it, lies a highly defined and structured pecking order, of who calls the shots and who thinks “what is what.” Many of these folks wear the same type of clothes, go to the same restaurants, and are careful to express non-controversial views on every subject under the sun, particularly if a certain dragon person is sensitive to that subject. In the political arena, we used to call this a “sailor’s mentality.”  It denoted someone who was used to sailing with the prevailing breeze, rather than tacking into the wind, for a much harder voyage.

Given my iconoclastic nature, and rebellious Irish Catholic upbringing, I often run afoul of some of these social doyens who thinks me a nail that “needs to be hammered. “ My response is always some very polite form “No Thanks, I think for myself.” In my family, we were raised to think on our own and act the way we saw fit, not just in a manner suited to please the whims of others. Needless to say, our mailbox has never been overly full of dinner invitations. Those that we do get are from people that we much admire and appreciate. That works for me. I have never been a big fan of mingling with those who think, talk and act the same. Why bother?

And then, if you do not indeed follow the crowd, you will be forever branded as a social oddity. The great wonder of this appellation is that you then, never again have to deal with, or socially interact with, the “we are all one type” crowd. The irony is this situation is one of the great pleasures of life.

Most of the members of these clubs are fine people. They just forget sometimes that there are many of us who are not of the breed who who move, think, dine and act in unison, to the loud thumping of self-appointed arbiters. Thank the good lord that I never earned any significant amounts of money in life. I would think that the restrictions are much more difficult as you scale the social pyramid. Sometimes, being raised as one of the peasants is a distinct advantage in life.

                                                 -30-

                                        (589 words)

                                 Joseph Xavier Martin