Pork or Baloney?

 “Pork Chop” is a two hundred-pound, pot-bellied pig who resides in a suburban home in Amherst, N.Y. All was well in the household until the lard-bellied pet escaped one night and gamboled through the neighborhood. It must have been comical to see this ungainly rascal waddling down the sidewalks of the area. It was, the until the local constabulary was called in. They found and returned the sow to its owners, then advised them that keeping pigs was banned by local ordinances.

      Undaunted by traditional customs, the owners petitioned the town’s zoning board, asking for a variance in housing regulations, explaining that the cuddly pile of pork was a “support pig.” A decision is still pending.

       There is humor in any situation. One area wag mentioned that she could understand how being close to all that bacon would be a comfort to anyone. Normally, one would be supportive of such family pet issues. But, many think that the whole notion of “support animals” has gotten out of hand. “Peacocks on airplanes,” reptiles everywhere, and dogs and cats in restaurants, proliferate around us. All owners claim that the various pets are “comfort animals.” Perhaps that is so, but I wonder where the rights of the rest of us come in? One has but to stretch the imagination a bit to see support horses sitting next to you in a dining venue. And what about a “support cow” walking the aisles of an airplane in flight? Cleaning up after any of them in public raises sanitary and health issues. Plus, I don’t think any “accidents” would do much for a diner’s appetite.

      I think everyone is in support of the original use of” support dogs” for sight challenged people. It makes sense that these well-trained and helpful companions accompany their owners everywhere to assist them in their every-day life. For the rest? Well maybe CHARLES SCHULTZ’S “Linus character” had a better idea. He carried “support blankie,” perhaps a favorite since childhood, around with him for comfort. I think this might be a better and healthier substitute for those beset by anxieties in public places. The rest of us can just rely on prescribed chemical solutions or a taste of Mr. Jameson’s elixir.

                                             -30-

                                         (375 words)

                                   Joseph Xavier Martin