Mixed Blessings

"D' ya know what it's like to be homeless luv?"
Ellie, who was putting her purse back into her handbag, looked up
quickly, startled, for a moment the voice had seemed to come from
nowhere. She turned her head and there in an alcove, by the side of the
shop's doorway, stood a man, he was tall, unshaven and had a
disconcertingly eager look in his eyes, like a fox about to descend on
what he perceives to be a rabbit. By his side was a half full container
of loose change, interspersed with the odd five-pound note, and a large
pitiful photograph of a young family looking tired and hungry.
"Why yes." She had answered almost without thinking, "I was homeless
just last year."
Looking at her standing there smartly dressed in grey flannel slacks
and pink cotton top, he certainly hadn't expected that reply. He
scanned her face, and seemed disappointed to find only sincerity in her
eyes. He deliberately lowered his gaze, taking in every curve of her
attractive femininity.
Ellie impatiently pulled the shopping trolley into the side and faced
him squarely, her face colouring with concern and the slight
embarrassment of his wandering eyes.
"Have you applied to the council offices in the High Street to request
emergency housing?"&;#8230; She continued, when she hadn't got a
reply "No-one should be homeless in this day and age!"
The man shuffled uncomfortably, as if not sure what to say next. She
couldn't help noticing that his clothes were filthy and he had a
weathered tinge to his face and hands.
"Look," persisted Ellie, genuinely wanting to help. "I can give you
something to eat, but I can't afford to give you any money, I only work
part-time."
She reached down into the trolley and pulled out a bag of bread cobs
and a pack of cooked ham. She offered it to him, but to her surprise he
mumbled "I canna live like this, I just need money, lady." He abruptly
collected up his belongings and roughly pushed past her and the offered
food, leaving the faint odours of sweat, alcohol and nicotine vying for
attention in his wake.
Somewhat taken aback Ellie dropped the food into the trolley, whilst
trying to manoeuvre it back onto the path. She carried on to her car,
which was parked at the side of the shop. In a way she had envied him
his nerve, if she had been able to approach people in that way, maybe
she wouldn't have lost most of her late mother's possessions, selling
off each one just to put food on the table. The incident had still made
her feel quite silly though; she really had wanted to help. She packed
the car vowing not to tell Steve, her husband, what had happened. He
wouldn't have given the man the time of day. She always felt uneasy at
the way he ignored people who were asking for money, not even giving
them a second glance. Perhaps he had been right all along.
'No'! She silently chastised herself, 'having been there how could she
not even give a morsel of food'. She closed the boot and took the
trolley back to the bay, quickly returning to the car as it started to
rain. She angled the driving mirror down to her face and straightened
her hair, sadly noticing the all too visible signs of middle age. Her
once vibrant auburn hair was now flecked with grey and her face looked
tired and drawn. There were certainly many more fine lines around her
eyes and mouth than there had been. 'The legacy of the last twelve
months', she thought to herself as she adjusted the mirror back to its
driving position and started the car.
The encounter in the shop doorway had brought all the unpleasant
memories of the past year flooding back and she was still reminiscing
as she pulled into the drive of Ivy Cottage. She looked at the house in
front of her, it was very pretty even through the drizzly rain, a
little chocolate box cottage she had thought the first time she had
seen it. Walking up the narrow cobbled path was like stepping back in
time. It had a wild, beautiful garden, packed full of heady scented
honeysuckles, rambling roses, lavenders and mints. She had felt very
fortunate to have been given the chance to live under its quaint little
roof; and had she not seen the advert in that magazine, she would still
be in 'horrible house,' as the children had aptly named it.
Ellie shuddered as she relived the worst times. Everything had happened
so quickly, one minute they had been busily running what seemed like a
successful aromatherapy oil business, the next minute everything had
come crashing down. The foot and mouth epidemic hadn't helped; nobody
seemed to have any spare cash to spend on luxuries and the sales had
just dried up. The mortgage and various loans went unpaid. Demand
letters started flooding in, at first they were polite then they became
more threatening. As bankruptcy loomed there was no money at all,
selling off furniture and household gadgets was the only way that they
were able to pay for food. To a family who had never wanted for
anything, it was a very frightening time. It soon became obvious that
their home and the lease on the shop would have to be sold to pay the
creditors. It had taken a few weeks to finalise the sales, but at least
the profits meant that they would escape bankruptcy, even if the future
still seemed very bleak. "There's nothing for it!" Steve had said
despondently one night as they sat staring blankly at the TV. " I'm
going to have to sign on for job seekers allowance&;#8230; but I'm
nearly 50, who's going to employ me now?" He paused for a moment,
becoming more resigned to their fate. "At least we'd have enough money
to buy food and they would probably find us somewhere to live too."
Ellie really hated the idea, although she knew that there was nothing
else they could do.
Just three days before they had to leave their home, the council had
rung with the offer of an emergency council house, a few of which were
kept vacant for homeless families. They quickly arranged to collect the
keys and went to view their new house. The estate was the worst Ellie
had ever seen; graffiti was plastered over the shuttered windows of the
local shops. Street names had been vandalised, bits of cars, interwoven
with toys, bindweed and grasses, were strewn about the dilapidated
gardens. Ellie had prayed silently to herself as she opened the front
door, and then she collapsed fitfully against the wall and the tears
could not be held back. The walls were grimy and dripping with torn
layers of different coloured wallpaper. There were no carpets. No
kitchen, just a sink unit and a few plugs. A bath and basin upstairs
and a filthy toilet bowl downstairs. Never in her wildest dreams had
she imagined herself reduced to this. It took three days of solid work
and two bottles of bleach to bring the house up to a liveable standard.
When it came to the move they couldn't afford a removal firm, so they
arranged to borrow a neighbour's van to transport the few belongings
they had left.
There was no spare money for decorating or carpets, flattened cardboard
boxes, which were free from the local supermarket, had to suffice. If
it hadn't been for the children she was sure that it would have been
too difficult to carry on. Their whole world had changed beyond
recognition. They couldn't afford to buy anything other than food. She
really did feel like a second-class citizen. At night the tears had
washed over her with a force of a tidal wave, by day she had to be
brave for the children's sake, making life as normal as possible in
these mad, sad times.

Then just six weeks after moving into 'horrible house', Ellie was
sitting in the dentist's waiting room, she picked up a couple of glossy
magazines, and idly thumbed through the pages. She was just about to
put them back when she noticed an advert: 'Free cottage in return for
gardening, apply Box No: 46790'. She jotted down the box number and
address of the magazine. It seemed like the perfect solution, no rent
to pay and she was sure that Steve could manage the gardening. She
could even find a part time job that would give them enough money to
live on. When she got home she wrote a long letter to the box number
and sent it off. Within just five days she received a reply. They had
been asked to go for an interview. Ellie was over the moon. At last
there might be a chance to escape the horrors of the council estate,
not to mention the dole queue. Their prospective employers were an
elderly couple, who took to Ellie and Steve immediately, and seemed
delighted to have found such a suitable family. There was even the use
of a little car. The couple had explained that a relative had lived in
Ivy Cottage and had tended both gardens, but he had recently died
leaving the cottage to them, so they were looking for someone to carry
on his work. Ellie and Steve had made up their minds virtually straight
away; this was definitely where they wanted to be. So it was all
arranged, the next few days flew by, the couple had kindly given them a
relocating allowance to help with the cost of the move. And after just
two months in 'horrible house' they moved into their little 'chocolate
box cottage' in the heart of the Shropshire countryside.

PEEEP&;#8230;PEEEP&;#8230; Ellie was jolted from her thoughts;
she waved to her neighbours who had just pulled into their own
adjoining drive. She smiled to herself. The people here were so nice,
everybody waved and acknowledged each other. Ellie got out of the car
and went around to the boot to collect the shopping. She walked slowly
along the path taking in the scents and sounds of the damp garden. She
let herself into the kitchen through the side door. Suddenly, she was
distracted by the squeals of delight echoing around the room. Ellie
stopped, put down the shopping and watched from the window as Steve
played with the children, their excited yelps ringing out above the
chatter of the bird song. They certainly had been through a year of
mixed blessings; their life was so different now and happier. There
wasn't much spare cash but there was time for each other. Ellie turned
as the door slowly opened and in walked Steve, without saying anything
he slipped his arm around her shoulders. There was no need for words.
At last they knew what was important, their priorities had drastically
changed, and now, for the first time, they realised that they were rich
beyond money. Ellie's thoughts drifted back to the man in the doorway,
and maybe she was being na?ve, but she just wished that she could have
made him see that there are solutions to life's problems; and like the
soothing dock leaves that grow near to the stinging nettles, they can
usually be found close by.

? Karen MacKenzie