The Day The Workmen Came Part One

The Day The Workmen Came.

by

John Forsyth

Frank Whalley sat slumped at his computer, in the small back bedroom of his house that doubled as an office, working on yet another job application.  Two workmen had arrived to take out an old wooden window from the adjacent bedroom and replace it with a new plastic one.  He could hear them chatting in the garden below as they laid out their tools and equipment.  It was a distraction he could do without.  A man in his early fifties with a wife, Pauline, who worked as a buyer for a large department store and a daughter, Justine, who had just completed her university course and was working as a solicitors clerk, he had been made redundant from his job in aircraft design so suddenly and without warning that it had left him unable to move on from the incident and he continued to run through the events of his dismissal in his mind even now two years after the event.  One scene from that day particularly troubled him.  He had just told Pauline and Justine the news and they were stood in the hall in shocked silence when the phone rang.  Pauline snatched it up and her face lit up,'It's work for you, perhaps there's been a mistake.'

Frank took the phone, 'Hello,'

'Hello Frank, Bill Dayton here.  It's about the car keys.  You've dropped the works car off but gone home with the keys.  Bring them in will you Frank.'

Franks shoulders slumped with disappointment, 'Yes, right, I'll drop them in tomorrow morning.'

'We need them now Frank.....Bring them in.'

Frank put the receiver down.  They stood in the silent hall, the afternoon sun streaming through the leaded lights of the front door.  Pauline fumed with anger.  Justine stood stricken with anxiety and foreboding.  Frank, his hand still on the phone, stood staring at the light.  Pauline said, 'How can you let that odious man, Dayton, speak to you like that?  For God's sake he's junior to you and not half as good at his job.'

Frank picked up Pauline's car keys from the telephone table and left without replying.

From that day on, things had only got worse.  Despite hundreds of job applications and dozens of pointless interviews, he could only obtain agency work which was haphazard and often so far away that he was almost out of pocket with hotel and travelling expenses.  When he was not working he could do nothing right.  Pauline's job was highly pressured.  When she got home at night tired and stressed, she would complain about Frank's untidiness, his failure to wash up, his inability to use the vacuum cleaner correctly or adhere to her shopping lists.

Justine seemed frustrated with her father, almost ashamed.  When she spoke to him there was usually a note of sarcasm or impatience in her voice.  She was also, Frank thought, drinking too much but when he tried to talk to her about it, her angry response shocked him.

Now he had began to suspect that Pauline was having an affair.  There had been many phone calls lately, most taken in the garden or, if he came upon her suddenly, promptly stopped.  To make matters worse, he had gone into the bedroom one morning to find her putting on underwear that was not the kind of thing she was accustomed to wearing.  Pauline had hastily pulled down her dress, snatched up her handbag from the bed and left without a word.

Frank's reverie was interrupted by the crash of ladders against the wall, followed by banging and hammering.  He sat back, there was no point in trying to work with that noise going on.  The window was open to facilitate it's removal and between hammering sessions he listened moodily to their conversation.  The elder of the two, a man in his mid forties, had introduced himself as Tom and indicated that his young, gangling, denim clad, baseball cap wearing assistant was Lee, a man in his late teens or early twenties.

'Did you do much over the weekend?'  Tom asked casually.

'Just went to the Starlight club with Pat and a few mates.'

'Just the usual stuff then,' Tom suggested.

'Yeah, I'll tell you what did happen though.'  Another period of hammering and then Lee continued, 'We were in the club and every time I looked up this girl was sat staring at me.  I ignored it at first but in the end I went over to her and said, 'Do I know you?'  And she said, 'No but I know you Lee Walmsley, I'm your half sister.'

'It turns out that her Dad has just died.  She was very upset and her Mother got all guilt stricken and told her that my Dad was her father but he's such a lazy, general all round waster, that she pinned it on a painter and decorator called Yates and married him.'

'What did Pat say?' Tom asked.

'She just laughed.  She'll believe anything of my Dad.'

'And what did your Dad say?'

'He said, Bloody hell yes Doreen Rooney.  It could be, but she never got back to me about it.'

Frank smiled to himself.  He imagined the outrage that would have ensued in his household if he had been involved in anything like that, yet these people just took it in their stride.  They were already talking about something else.  Suddenly Frank's blood froze.

'We'd better go and tell him,' he heard Lee say in hushed tones.'

Frank cursed.  Pauline had been wanting the window replaced for a long time but their local builder was expensive and busy.  This firm had door stepped him and made him a cheap offer, which he had accepted.  On hearing about it on her arrival home, Pauline had gone berserk.  'You've given the job to Morrells,' She exploded.  'They are a terrible firm.'

'It will be alright,' Frank had insisted.

'Ye Gods,'  Pauline had screamed.  'You do know that they are known throughout the town as Morrells Marauders don't you.  If this is a mess,' she insisted, 'I'm leaving.'

Frank heard heavy footsteps on the stairs and the two men entered the room, 'Problem Mr. Whalley,' Tom the older man said

Frank groaned, 'What problem.?'

'Well shall we go next door and take a look,'

The main bedroom had a dormer window.  The flat roof jutting out from the sloping tiled main roof.  It gave the room a cottagey effect and was Frank and Pauline's favourite room.  They slept in it although they found it cold.

'Were you here when the window was measured up?'

'No.'

'It's got your name here.'  Tom shuffled some documents.

'I sanctioned the job but my wife was here when the window was measured up.'

'Well the thing is,... it's not right.'

'What do you mean it's not right you incompetent bloody oafs.  A child could measure that up.'

'The window fits perfectly,' Tom said, 'but your wife asked for a window that opens inwards.'

'Well what's the problem there?'  Frank demanded.

'The problem is that your dormer roof has a slight slope on it.  It's to let rain water fall back to the house roof and down to the gutter.'

'I know what it's for,' Frank said icily.

'Well the trouble is that your wife's window, that opens inwards, will only open half way because it will catch on the ceiling.'  Tom held his tape measure against the window frame and swung it round to the ceiling.  'See it will only open half way.'

Frank stood stock still his rage mounting.  'You useless idiots.  How could you make a mistake like that.  I was told you were a rubbish firm but I didn't think that even you could be this bad.'

'Now just a cotton picking minute Mr. Whalley,' Tom's face registered his annoyance.  'I didn't measure the job up.  We are just here to fit the thing.  I didn't have to say anything.  We could have just slapped your window in and left you to get on with it.'

'Lee said, 'It was Terry who measured it up and he's useless.  I wouldn't trust him to measure up for a set of curtains.  He claims we pick on him because he says he's gay but I don't believe he. is gay.. If he was he'd be better colour co-ordinated. than he is.'

Tom cut in, 'Shut up Lee,' then went on, 'Well what do you want us to do Mr. Whalley?'

'I want you to take that window away and come back with one that functions properly.'

'Right,' Tom spoke doubtfully.  'You see Terry doesn't work for Morrells directly.  He's gone self employed.  Morrells will blame Terry you'll have take it up with him.  You could be a long time without a window.'

Frank stood dejectedly staring out of the window.  Tom watched him shrewdly and saw a man near the end of his tether.  He cleared his throat, 'Come on Mr. Whalley, we can solve this problem,'

Frank raised his head.  'Solve the problem.  How?'

'Saw half an inch off the bottom of the window frame.  You will be surprised at what a difference it will make.  Your window will open ninety percent of the way.  It would be a picky wife who complained about that.'

'But there will be a gap at the top.'

'We will put a half inch wooden batten in.  You will have the plastic fascia on the front and strip of plastic on the inside and the jobs a good un.'

Frank felt a surge of relief.  'It will weaken the window surely.'

'No,' Tom assured him, 'We do it all the time.'

'Right will you go ahead and do that then.'

Tom nodded.  They descended the stairs and Frank stood watching the operation.  Lee took an electric cable into the kitchen and plugged it in. He threw the other end out of the window.  Tom connected his cutting tool to the power source and having measured off the area to be removed, he commenced his cut.  Lee held the window frame steady.  Frank stepped back..The two men and the lawn were becoming covered in white powdery dust.  The task was soon completed and the two men straightened up.

'Shouldn't you wear masks or something?' Frank asked.

Tom laughed, 'Don't worry about it Mr. Whalley.  We have more silicone in us than Dolly Parton.'

Frank smiled, 'My names Frank,' he said.

'Right Frank,' Tom replied, 'All we need now is a suitable bit of wood.'

'How about this.'  Frank turned to see Lee emerging from the garage with a piece of wood in his hand.  Lee's ability to range freely through the property was a slight worry to Frank.

'That will do fine,' Tom said.

'Won't that be too thick?' Frank hazarded.

Tom laughed, 'I'm a carpenter.  I can soon plane a bit of wood to size.'

'If you are a carpenter, why are you bothering with this kind of work,' Frank asked.

'Simple, nobody wants things made out of wood any more.  Take your barge boards,' Tom pointed to the eaves of the house.  “I bet you are thinking off replacing them with plastic.'

'That's right,' Frank replied.  'It's so expensive having them painted.'

'I'll do it for One hundred and fifty quid max.  Undercoat and gloss.'   Lee was animated.  'Don't put plastic barge board's up.  You've got swifts nesting there.  Plastic and central heating boiler exhaust fumes is what kills the poor little devils.'

Frank was slightly taken aback, 'I see,' he said.

Tom grinned apologetically, 'It's something he gets worked up about,' he explained.  He then went on, 'Come on Lee let's get going.'

The two men set to work.  Frank was making a cup of tea when Lee arrived in the kitchen.  'Tea?'

Lee nodded, 'Two sugars for me, none for Tom.'  He went on, 'Do you know your dormer roof space isn't Lagged?'

'Yes and it's damned cold,' Frank, said.

'I'll do it now for you before we put the new window in.  It will make a hell of a difference.  It will cost you fifty quid.'  Lee took Frank to the van and showed him some rolls of lagging, all brand new.  'It's nicked, that's why I can do it so cheap.  I have a mate who works for an insulation firm.  We are all on low wages so to make it pay we nick stuff and do jobs for cash.'

'How do you know I won't report you,' Frank smiled.

'What with stolen lagging in your roof space,' Lee laughed.  He asked, 'Have we got a deal?'

'Yes, go on then.'  Frank located his wallet and handed over the money.  Lee took it, 'To warm winter nights,' he grinned raising his tea cup.

An hour later the work was finished.  'What do you think?'  Tom asked.

'It's a good job, I'm pleased.  Sorry I flew off the handle.'

'Forget it,' Tom smiled.  'Day off is it?'

Frank shook his head, 'No I got made redundant a couple of years ago.  I worked for Trafford design.  I can only get occasional agency work now.'

'Right, gets you down a bit does it.'

Frank nodded.  Suddenly his mood brightened.  The window was in.  The roof lagged.  Pauline could only be pleased.  'I'll tell you what,' he said.  'I've a crate of lager in the shed.  Do you fancy a couple of cans?'

'Why not, it's our dinner time.  I'll just send Lee for a couple of pies.'

'Get one for me Frank responded.'

As they were entering the shed a woman called out, 'Hello Frank!'

'Hello Audrey.' Frank replied.  The woman was stood on the other side of the dividing hedge, a pair of secateurs in her gloved hand.  'My next door neighbour,' he explained somewhat needlessly.

Audrey was showing quite a lot of cleavage.  'Your new window looks nice,' She said.  Then a telephone started ringing in her kitchen and she excused herself and left.  Lee raised his eyebrows and winked at Tom, then set off to the pie shop.