The Tightrope

Gold cherry

By london_calling79

Tue, 30 Jun 2015
  • 2743 reads
9 comments
 

Certificate 12
Poem
New Set
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Full of tension, a really interesting structure. I sort of heard both voices at the same time. Clever that the characters are unbalanced yet balancing on this tightrope, falling doesn't seem so bad, a release.

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

excellent, brutal, sparky, imaginative. covers a wide spread of feelings and loved 'stop battering lyrics into life shapes' and 'trying to crush me into some sort of missshapen diamond'. appreciated the will to experiment, comes together really well. :-)

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Eeek thank you for the cherries and for the very kind comments!

Phillip - glad that got through! In some ways I wanted it to be read across but not sure it works reading down and across but hopefully some lines knit together.

Stephen - good to hear it comes together, I'm not afraid to experiment but not sure it always works and worry that style over substance happens.

 

Submitted by love_writing on

Brilliant love it! Great to see a new structure - it works really well in switching from one voice to the other- I can almost hear and see the squabbling characters.  Experimenting is great and in this case it pays off :)

love_writing

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Cheers lw! Thank you for your kind comments. Don't leave those voices rattling round for too long!

 

Submitted by celticman on

this is so smart. I'm envious. Let me tell you, you're walking a tightrope now boy!

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

You're envious? Then I'm humbled.

 

Submitted by scratch on

This is our facebook and twitter pick of the day!

Get a fantastic reading recommendation every day.

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Muchisimas Gracias!