Bookseller

I applied for Borders bookshop
They said 'Be realistic'
I begged them to employ me
But it seems I'm not 'artistic'
Waterstones said I was
Too much without degree
And my lack of self importance
Was really not to be
Foyles said they would have
But I lacked a certain way
Which they described as 'book-shop'
And I describe as 'grey'
Smiths said they might put me
In the back stock room
But upon consideration
I lack an air of gloom
The poetry cafe is an
Elitist place to work
As the job description states
That you must be a jerk
I tried the independents
Of Soho and Baker Street
But they said I was really
Not posh enough to meet
These big old expectations
A book shop has of you
That you must be dark
Rude and love taboo
Use long words and theory
That you don't understand
Whilst always finding new ways
In which to be more bland.