Three is a Crowd

By luigi_pagano

Wed, 25 Mar 2020
  • 1537 reads
6 comments
 

Harry emerged from the prison’s gates shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight. He took a deep breath and inhaled a lungful of diesel fumes. A small price to pay for freedom.

He was the only survivor of the gang that had relieved a security van of enough ingots to set them up for life: Eddie had slipped in the shower cracking his head and Vince had died of food poisoning. It suited the old lag to perfection; it confirmed the saying that ‘Three is a crowd’.

Now no one else knew the whereabouts of the loot and, if he could reach it before the authorities discovered its hiding place, the haul, that could easily have sustained a banana republic, was his as a right. Who ever said that crime doesn’t pay?

He wasn’t expecting anyone to meet him on his release and was surprised to see two girls standing by a stationary car.

He didn’t have to think twice to guess who they were: they were the spitting images of his late partners in crime.

“Hello Harry”, Eddie’s daughter said, “We have waited fifteen years to meet you.”

Then the other interjected: “We have come to claim our inheritance.”

 

© Luigi Pagano 2020

Certificate U
Story
Just Stories
Crime

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

! Hopefully the authorities will have thought to trail them all!

3 don't look a crowd in the sardine tin! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Thanks for your feedback, Rhiannon, much appreciated.
Considering that Eddie and Vince had died inside the prison why would the authorities be trailing their daughters? The tin of sardines is a visual metaphor for overcrowding.

Luigi x

 

 

Submitted by onemorething on

So clever to tell a whole story neatly in so few words. I enjoyed the unexpected twist. Rachel x

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Your kind appraisal is heart warming, Rachel, and a boost to my morale.
I started experimenting with flash fiction on a website called Droubbles.com which might be defunct now.
We were required to write a story in 200 words. I got used to the technique and wrote flash tales with different lengths, I went as low as 50 words and for your delectation (or not) here is an example (taken from "Three 50-words mini-tales" posted on ABC)

The Publishing Deal

The author was pleased with the publishing deal he had been offered; twenty pence per word was an adequate sum, he thought. He was known as a prolific writer and he would be rich in no time.
Got pen and paper and began. Wrote 50 words and got writer's block.

Luigi x

PS I am writing a sort of sequel to my Jessica's tales that I recall you liked. I don't yet know if it can stretch to a series, though. 

 .

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Ha. Oh dear! Not very lucrative afterall. It definitely is skillful to tell a story in just a few words, especially only 50. I would never manage, for one thing, I use far too many words to say anything at all and I'm a word hoarder too, I'd struggle to edit any words out. And very pleased to hear about your sequel, will look forward to it.    Rachel x

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

If I relied on my writing to subsist I would die of hunger, I am afraid. Good job I only do it for fun.
I hoard words too but tend to use them sparingly. What I struggle with sometimes is fresh ideas but reading other people's work can be inspiring.

Luigi x