Time To Say Goodbye

By luigi_pagano

Fri, 07 Mar 2014
  • 1696 reads
6 comments
 

I asked myself if I
had any right to pry,
to enquire as to why
I thought she may lie.
Was there another guy?
Would she say ‘Aye’
or would she deny?
Looked at her in the eye,
she made no reply.
She’d never been shy,
nor was she prone to cry
- her pupils were dry -
but I knew she was sly.
I looked up to the sky
and I heaved a sigh,
it was useless to try.
Time to say goodbye
and our knot to untie
with a decree nisi.  

© Luigi Pagano 2014

 

Certificate U
Poem
Mutevoli pensieri
Other Fiction
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Luigi.

The single rhyme and staccato rhythm adds to the sense of exasperation in trying to get to the truth. Aside from suspicion, at the start, there is self doubt, but by the end the answer comes from the expected lack of response. Interesting poem.

Enjoyed.

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hi Bee.

This experimental form has been buzzing around in my head for quite a while and I finally decided to give it an airing to judge reactions. I am pleased that it seems to make sense and I haven't gone overboard with the single rhyme, an easy thing to do.

Hits and comments would show whether a piece is any good but some of my contributions appear to have gone down like a lead balloon, with a very small readership and no comments whatsoever. The fact that they are ignored suggests to me that they were not to everybody's taste. So it was reassuring to have received your welcome feedback. Thank you.

Luigi 

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello Luigi,

I too enjoyed your poem and I love the idea that you are not afraid to experiment.  You know the rules but you play about with them and that is a good thing because it stretches the boundaries and who knows you may create a new type of poem.   Not a Haiku but a Luigi.  When I read a poem I not only look at the subject matter and the ryhme but also the structure of the poem. I look  very closely at how the words are fashioned to see if it adds or detracts from the words chosen.

A most enjoyable read.

Moya.  

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

You are right, Moya. I know the rules but the rules are there to be broken and you'd be surprised at how many times I shattered them! I don't know about a 'new' poem but on another site (UKAuthors) they already say 'that's a Luigi'. Should I be flattered, I ask myself. Maybe not, I better keep my feet on the ground. (I know my place!)

Cheers, Luigi

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Never keep your feet on the ground when you can jump for joy. To have a style in your name is a great and  well deserved achievement in individuality.

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Ta muchly, Bee. smiley