Rabecca Karma: Chapter 5

Chapter 5
The story

Finally, when Jacob was out of sight, my head went straight. How could I do that? Last night was probably the best night of my life, but Jamie! How could I do that to him!?
I started running then. I passed my house, and Gabriella was sitting on the porch. She yelled my name, but I didn’t stop. She started running after me, so I ran faster.
“Rabecca, who is Jamie!?”
I stopped. She ran up to me and I said, “How do you know about Jamie? What else do you know?”
“What are you talking about? I went in your room this morning and I—”
“You went through my room!?!” I was furious at her now. I wanted to smack her, this was not a joke.
“Would you let me finish?” I didn’t want to listen to her anymore, but I felt like I couldn’t move or say anything. “I went in your room to talk to you but you weren’t there. I didn’t look through anything, but I asked Derek where you were and he said that you were probably at Jamie’s. Who is he?”
“Mind your own business! I’m going back!” I turned around and started running. She didn’t follow this time.
When I arrived at Jamie’s house, a wave of pity and nervousness hit me like when the car had smacked me in the face. It sort of hurt and I felt stupid for last night…kind of.
I finally built up the courage to ring the door bell and it took him about 2 or 3 minutes to answer it. He came out and, as usual, he smiled and said hey.
I hugged him, “I have to talk to you.” I twisted around him, afraid. I sat on the couch and he sat down right next to me. I didn’t think I could do it. I looked deep into his aqua marine eyes. They were the exact color of my birthstone. “Jamie…you know that I love you, right?”
I looked down, scared to see his reaction. “Rabecca?” I couldn’t look at him. “Yeah…I know that.”
“Good. Because if you didn’t know that, and if you didn’t love me, I don’t know what I’d do.”
He wrapped me in his arms. “Do you know how scared I just was?” I started crying, burying my face in his shirt. He almost pulled away, but I didn’t want him to see me cry. There were only two people who had seen that, so I pulled him in tighter.
I had to pick. I had to tell Jacob or Jamie that we couldn’t be together. Jacob made me feel…excruciating. Jamie couldn’t do that. Or at least, he couldn’t anymore. It didn’t feel as good as it used to with Jamie. But Jamie knew me. He knew everything and he’s been here for me for a while. But Jacob could do that.
Jamie leaned back and kissed me. He might as well not have done anything. It was nothing compared to Jacob.
“You okay?” he sounded concerned. I shook my head no. “What’s wrong?” I shook my head again. “Is it your mom?” I shook it again. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” if I was with Jacob, I would have only had to say no once. This was going to be difficult.
“No, there’s something. Is it Gabriella? Are you thinking about Karmen?” I shook my head again and told him I was going to the bathroom. I went in there, closed the toilet, and sat on it. I sent Jacob a text asking if he wanted to hang out again. I had a plan, and hopefully I could do it.
I came out and told Jamie I was leaving. He drove me and dropped me off by the woods. I went around the front of the car, to the driver’s side and kissed him. Nothing.
“Goodbye. I am no longer in love with you. I love you, though. But I don’t think we can even just be friends. It would hurt both of us way too much. Goodbye…” I stared into his eyes as I said it and as soon as I was done, I rushed into the woods. He looked completely shocked for a minute and then he was crying his heart out. I felt horrible.
My phone vibrated and it was Jacob. He said if you want, I’ll meet you halfway. I texted him back saying, I’ll meet you there with a little smiley face.
When Jamie was gone and completely out of sight, I ran out of the woods, towards Jacob’s house. I met him in about the middle of the way, and we walked back to his house.
“How was home?” He asked casually.
“I didn’t go home.”
“Why?” I shook my head, but realized that I was tired of keeping quiet.
We reached his house and went to his room. “I have to talk to you. I have to explain some things, but for that to happen, I pretty much have to explain my life from the time I was 7.” I paused, about to go into a long story.
He looked at me, “I’m listening.”
“My life’s pretty complicated, Jacob. To the time I was 7, my sister was my best friend. I had lived with her, my older brother, my mom, and my little sister. Gabriella, my best friend back then, was abused by my mom for 6½ years. From when she was eight to when she was 14. She ran away and, at the time, I was eight, Karmen was 3, Derek was 17. My mom started abusing me and Karmen. She wasn’t able to abuse Derek because she knew that the 9 years of abuse on him made him almost immune to her. It wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of us being in pain. A year after Gabriella left, my dad died. About a year after that, my mom beat Karmen to death. She was only 5. I was ten at the time, and my mom continued to abuse me. She still does, and a little over 4 months ago, I found this guy Jamie who was everything to me. Just a few weeks ago, I had been on the phone with him and my mom threw me against the coffee table and I ended up in the hospital. We all went to court, and the jury found her not guilty. And yesterday, I felt different. Nothing was on my mind but us. My sister came back yesterday, and I forgot about that until you were gone. I also forgot about Jamie, and that I was cheating. You hypnotized me. I just broke up with Jamie like 45 minutes ago.” I looked down, afraid of his expression.
“How old is your sister now?”
“19. She was gone 5 years.” I was still looking down.
“Why did you break up with Jamie? Don’t you love him?”
“I broke up with him because, even though I do love him, I made the choice to be with you. You gotta what you gotta do, you know?”
“That means a lot to me, Rabecca. You mean a lot to me. So…are you my girlfriend now?”
I smiled. “Yeah…” I kissed him to confirm that we were now an “us.”