Rabecca Karma: Chapter 8

Chapter 8
what just happened?

I woke up in his bed the next morning, crying silently. Jamie had done so much to me last night. And I couldn’t say it didn’t matter, because it did matter.
I didn’t love him like I loved Jacob, I never had, but Jamie wanted to die because of me, so, what other choice did I have then to give him whatever he wanted? I couldn’t let him die.
I sat up and stretched, wondering where he was now, he wasn’t on the bed. I was sore, and I probably didn’t know half the things he had done to me because I had fallen asleep in the middle of it.
When we had gotten there, He’d picked me up and carried me to his room. He had stripped all my clothes off, and got me in bed. But there was more. Every part of me was sore except my feet and most of my face. My head, my lips, my legs, my stomach , my whole body!
Jamie walked in as I was getting dressed.
“What time is it?” I asked, not looking at him.
“9 o’clock.” We’d skipped school. I wondered what Jacob was thinking right now.
“I want to go home.”
“Well we don’t always get what we want, do we? I wanted you, but Jacob had you.”
“But I wouldn’t take advantage of you like that!”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m not an asshole!!”
“So now I am?" He had a smug smile on hs face.
“Yes, Jamie!” Last night had been a huge mistake, he was going to die before me anyway. “I don’t care if you die! I will not be taken advantage of like that again!”
“You don’t know that. You did pretty good for a first time.”
I was standing in his doorway when I said it. “You weren’t my first, and I don’t love you!” I ran out the door as fast as I could. He hadn’t moved. He just stood there in the doorway, frozen.
As I ran down the street, crying, I fell somehow, and just lied there, crying my heart out. I heard footsteps coming towards me, but not from Jamie’s direction.
“Becca? Becca!” It was, for some odd reason, Jacob. What was he doing down here? He should be at school. “Are you okay?” I couldn’t answer him. He was sitting by me, but I couldn’t see his face, for my face had been facing the cold pavement. “Rabecca? I’m down here looking for you. When you didn’t get on the bus, I left when we reached school. I checked your house but Derek said you weren’t there. He looked puzzled, and I started walking home. About halfway there, I realized that you might have been with Jamie since he wasn’t on the bus either, so I started towards his house. It was about 30 minutes and then I saw you on the ground. What happened? Where were you?”
Jacob’s voice sounded shaky and worried. I said nothing, but tilted my head in order to see his face, and a drop of rain landed right on my eye. I blinked it away and a drop that wasn’t from the sky slowly trickled down my face. Jacob’s expression was a twist between agony, horror, and worry. I stood up and started walking towards his house.
* * *
When we got to his house, he got me some dry clothes, I was soaked, and we sat on his bed. He looked over at me with worried eyes. I smiled, or, at least, tried, and he frowned. Apparently the weak smile wasn’t successful.
I sighed, and said, “You were right,” breaking the silence.
Confusion swept over him. “About what?”
How should I say it, though? “I was with Jamie last night.”
His confusion was replaced by a wave of understanding and pain. “Oh….”
“I love you Jacob.” I buried my face in his chest and the tears poured without me even noticing. I couldn’t see his face, but he was probably very bemused.
He hugged me, said “I love you too,” and I explained everything.
“Oh…”
“It was so scary.”
“It’s okay, Becca.” I shook my head. What if Jamie actually killed himself? “He wasn’t really going to kill himself. He’s just trying to get to you. He’s so desperate that he’ll trick you into wanting him again.”
It made sense completely now. Jamie did love me, but not in the Jacob way. A cruel, ruthless way. “Jacob? Did you love me when we…?”
He chuckled. “Can you not say it?” When I didn’t say anything, he laughed. He fell silent with a now serious expression. “I think I did. Ugh, I don’t know if I should have or not. And well—” he looked at me. “I know we both want to do that again, but…do you want to live forever?”
“Possibly forever.” I corrected. “And why wouldn’t I want to?”
“Well we’ve only been together for over a month, I figured you might want some more time to think. Of course, it’s your choice, but you can’t get rid of it if you already have it, unless you kill yourself, which would take a while.”
“But how do we know if I’m immortal now? I can’t just commit suicide, what if I’m not?”
“I don’t know. If you want to be, I know I’m in love with you now, so we’d be able to make you if you’re not.” I laughed. We were getting pretty far now, we knew just about everything about each other, and we hadn’t ever got in a fight.
I looked up at him, and he was looking away, lost in thought. I got up, crossed the room, and sat on his big bean bag chair. It was about 5 feet wide, very comfy, and I don’t know if you’d call this giant blue thing a chair. It was more like a bed.
“There something wrong with me?” He asked with a smile.
“No, I just love this chair.”
He walked towards me and laughed as he sat down on it. “I haven’t been on this thing in a long time.” I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me. We sat like that for about 20-30 minutes, then finally, scaring me half to death, Jacob shouted, “OH MY GOSH! Rabecca did Jamie use a…?”
Though he didn’t finish his sentence, I knew what he was asking. I shook my head because, most likely Jamie was too distracted to slip one on. And, of course, we didn’t want me to get pregnant, especially from Jamie.
I shrieked softly as Jacob surprised me, jumping on top of me and I’m still not sure how, but somehow we ended up undressed on his bed that night.
* * *
About 3 weeks had passed since then and I hadn’t been feeling too well. Sleeping more than I needed to, eating way too much, and vomiting. Oh, the vomiting. I couldn’t stand it anymore—I had puked more in those 3 weeks than in my entire life—and I had the feeling that I might be pregnant, so I took a test just in case. I went to Jacob’s that night, and told him what I was doing. When I came out of the bathroom, I was horrified. I was holding the little stick, and Jacob ran over to me to see what it said. Yes, the little thing read.
“Oh my god.” I had nothing to say to that. More than that one word telling me that I was pregnant, we had no clue who’s baby it was. I walked and jumped onto Jacob’s bed, shocked. I was expecting tears, but I guess I was just too shocked for tears.
“Becca, we have to go see a doctor.”
“They can’t do anything right now, it’s too early.”
“We have to know who’s baby it is.”
“I know, I know, but that’ll just have to wait.” I thought about it—if it was Jamie’s, it would most definitely have blonde hair because we both do; if it was Jacob’s which I would most rather have, it would probably be a strawberry blonde.
Of course, this all went back to whether or not Jamie used protection. I knew we hadn’t. Both times. “I’m only 13 and I’m pregnant!?” I suddenly shouted, making Jacob flinch slightly. “I’ll be a mom at only 14! I could be a grandma at 34! When it’s 20!” I gasped as I realized that Derek would be in war when the baby’s born.
“Rabecca calm down. Everything is going to be—”
“How can I calm down!?” I couldn’t picture myself as a mom. Me and Jacob, side by side, me holding a baby. Just then, the doorbell rang.
“It’s probably my mom.” Jacob said, and headed towards the door. He opened it and said, “Hey Mom. Rabecca’s here, just so you know.”
“Oh okay,” she went into the kitchen and Jacob came back.
“We’re seeing a doctor in a few weeks.”
* * *
That night, I talked to Derek and told him everything. I told him about what Jamie did, how me and Jacob got together, and finally that I was pregnant.
“Wow, Rabecca, you’re caught up in a big mess, aren’t you?” I sighed, saying yeah. “Well…maybe you shouldn’t be so damn beautiful. Well, I’m training tomorrow morning.”
“Ugh, I still can’t believe you’re going to war!” and especially on my birthday. It was enough that he was risking his life like that, but he had to go on my birthday.
“I’m sorry. Also I hate to miss your baby being born too.”
“It’s alright. At least you’re telling me that you’re leaving.” Sudden realization swam over me, and I needed to talk to her. I had been avoiding Gabriella lately, but I needed to figure out why she left.
“I don’t get it, Becca. What do you have against her? What did Gabriella do to you?”
“I have to go talk to her.” I ran out of his room, and went downstairs, to Gabriella’s room.
I knocked on the door and she said to come in. I walked in and she smiled at me. She was a runaway, but in that moment all she looked like was a supermodel. She was so beautiful. I didn’t get it—I had never seen anyone so pretty. “Hey, what’s up?” I was still standing in her doorway; I hadn’t been in her room in years, it was weird.
“Umm…I just wanted to talk to you.”
“Well that’s a change.” she looked down at something that I couldn’t see and she was scanning it.
I stepped into her room and closed the door. I looked back over at her, leaning against the door. She had been looking at a book; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. She was sitting on a purple chair, her eyes moving back and forth along pages. “If I ask you a question,” I sat on her bed, which was covered in pillows, “do you promise to answer it?”
She nodded. “I’ll have to at some point, so might as well answer it now.”
I hesitated, looking at her colorful bed, then said, “When I asked you why you ran away, you said love. What do you mean?”
“Exactly what the words say. I left because of love. Mom was trying to kill me. There was no love here. None that I could see, at least.” she looked up at me apologetically. “I can’t really explain it all very well, but.…Alright, I met this girl and I told her everything. Every single thing that had ever happened to me. Except one or two things probably. One was that I don’t easily fall in love, but I’m easy to fall in love with. “Also, she told me a lot about her, and about her boyfriend, David, and after about 8 or so months, she introduced me. We got along well and she got mad. They had a fight over me, and…,” A tear ran down her face. “I was in love with him….Rebecca”—I jumped— “That was her name, and I hated it. It always made me think of you.”
She went silent, and looked back down at her book, focused. She didn’t look like she was going to say anything else, so I left, shutting the door quietly. I went up to my room, thinking. Soon I fell into a light sleep; almost a doze.
When I woke up in the morning, I ate breakfast, brushed my teeth and hair, and then put my lime green skinny jeans and converse on. I was rummaging through my closet and, when I found it, I put on my long sleeved black stripy shirt. I found a pink and black stripy short sleeved shirt and put it over the black one. I walked outside and sat on the driveway, waiting for the bus.
Gabriella came out and sat next to me, “Hey,” she said happily.
I heard the bus, but I couldn’t see it, so I asked, “So when are you going to finish your story?” She looked away in the direction of where the bus would come. I looked over there, and it was coming. I looked back at her and she had a smirk on her face. I got up and got on the bus as she waved goodbye, getting up.
Jacob was waiting for me near the back of the bus. I smiled at him when I got on. All the windows were down, so Gabriella saw Jacob and Jacob saw Gabriella. They locked eyes for about a second, and then the bus started moving.
I sat down beside Jacob and he said, “Was that Gabriella?”
“Yeah. Ugh, I feel horrible today.”
“Could be the pregnant thing,” He whispered.
Jamie wasn’t at school for 2 weeks, Jacob got sick one day, and I skipped to be with him. He had been very confused because, he wasn’t supposed to get sick, unless it was a very deadly disease. We forgot about it though, trying to get a doctor’s appointment. We went when I was 9 weeks.
Derek had taken us, and me and Jacob went in to see the doctor. He had rubbed a weird, cold, gel-like substance on my stomach. He ran another thing that was like a camera that could see inside me, across it, searching. The doctor left, and then came back looking shocked, holding an envelope.
“There’s nothing wrong is there?” Jacob asked cautiously. He knew it would kill me if it had died.
“No, but…you have twins.” TWINS!? They had to be Jacob’s, there’s no other way.
“So what’s wrong?”
“They don’t look right. Not deformed, no, but as if they were… from different people,” he was sort of muttering to him self now. “No, that’s impossible, but it really looks like—nah.” He looked back over at us and then spoke louder. “There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just having twins.”
Doctor Gerald asked Jacob if he was the father, and then talked to us about teen pregnancy. He used a lot of big words that I really didn’t get, but Jacob seemed to understand. When we left, Derek dropped us off at Jacob’s, but when I got out of the car, Derek was whispering something to Jacob. Jacob walked out of his car and put his arm around my waist. We waved goodbye to Derek and he left with a wink.
It was still only about 10am, so I had ham, toast, and eggs. “Okay, I have two question; what—”
“The doctor was just asking some questions and telling us about this place that can help teens that are pregnant. Derek was just asking if I was being good to you—well, not really asking. He basically said ‘You better be being good to her,’ and I said that I was, but I don’t know if he believes me.”
“Did he say anything about the twins?”
Jacob shook his head, “No, we might have to get you to another doctor.” I looked out the window, and it was snowing (something that doesn’t happen much here), and it was about a week and a half until Christmas. Also, of course, that meant we had no school until after the New Year.
“Jacob, when’s your birthday?”
“Oh…it’s a leap year, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, next year, 2008, why?”
He laughed. My birthday is on February 29th.”
“How do you celebrate that? February 28th or march 1st?”
“The 28th. I was born in 1992, so, of course, I’ll be 16. This is going to only be my 5th actual birthday.”
He had only had 4 actual birthdays in his 15 years of living. “Wow. Mine’s March 18th.”
“Funny, that’s my grandma’s birthday.