Insommia
By maisie
Sun, 15 May 2011
- 1567 reads
5 comments
.
Sleep when it comes,
fizzes with sounds,
the cries of a child,
.
a car turns round,
the axe murderers voice,
the dark agony of hurt.
.
I roll and turn
to avoid it, the light
isn't on. Outside
.
is as dark as a mirror
on a lake with no moon.
A cup of tea helps...
.
in a dish with a spoon,
all sugar and honey.
"I want my Mummy!"
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Comments
Hi Maisie I really enjoyed
Permalink Submitted by V.C.Willow on
Hi Maisie
I really enjoyed the humour in this and though you've put it as a children's poem I thought it would work for an adult too. Great piece of poetry
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very much enjoyed it, found
very much enjoyed it, found it rather disturbing for a children's piece but I kind of like it better that way. The flow is quick and fluid though I stumbled at the Outside part where it flipped to the next stanza.
Overall, it's a solid piece. well done!
Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...
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I think it is well placed as
I think it is well placed as a children's poem as it portrays very well the troubles of trying to fall a sleep with the child's imagination playing. Works well for an adult as well.
;)Pia
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I like it a lot but tend to
I like it a lot but tend to agree with mikepyro - not sure about the category
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