I Just Want to go Home

*Inner Dialogue in Parentheses*

6pm
The phone rings...

Me: Sup?
Cole: Chillin', bout to take my girl to work. Sup with you?
Me: Nothin', just got home from work.
Cole: Wanna go chill, get a little fucked up tonight?
Me: Hell yeah, you know me.
Cole: Straight, I'll be there in about an hour.
Me: Aight, later.
Cole: Peace.

Cole has one objective in life: roar through everyone's lives that he meets, making sure that they conform to his will, no matter what. His gift of manipulation knows no bounds when he wants something. That's about all we have in common, that and a thirst for more.

7pm
A car pulls up

Me: (Hmmm... Never seen him drive that car before. Must have stole it.)

Me: What's up man?
Cole: What up baby boy, what you wanna do?
Me: I don't know, where'd you get this car?
Cole: I borrowed it from this girl, her daddy bought it for her.
Laughs...
Me: If only he knew who she was hangin' out with.
Cole: I know, right. So what do you wanna do?
Me: I don't care, I just need to get me some beer.
Cole: Cool, let's hit the store and head out to this spot in Mayland.
Me: What's in Mayland?
Cole: Some of that hard.
Me: Straight. (Dammit, not Mayland again.)

Here we are in Mayland again, on a quest to find Cole's Holy Grail of drugs, crack-cocaine. I hate Mayland, last time I was here, I had three guns pointed at my face in the middle of a crack house. To be honest, for no other reason than that I was white, honest, they told me so. But damned if I wasn't smack dab in the middle again, doing the same damn thing.

8pm

Cole: I'll be right back.
-Cole jumps out of the car and knocks on the door of a rundown house.

So here I am, sitting in the passenger seat of some random chick's black, two-door beamer with a twelve pack between my legs. The beer went down smooth and the cigarette felt nice rolling out of my lungs. As I sat there I noticed a slight tingle in my stomach. It resembled the feeling you get when you meet someone new and you like them, you know, butterflies. Except this was not a good feeling, more like my nervous system telling me I shouldn't be there. A cold sweat with no perspiration.

Me: (I'll slam down this beer, that'll take care of it.)

At the moment I crushed the can, Cole and Jay walked up to the car. Now I don't remember his name, but I do remember his size. About 6' 5”, 245 pounds and skin black as the night.

Jay: Sup yo?
Me: Chillin' man, you rollin' with us?
Jay: Yeah.
Me: Cool, you can sit up front.
Jay: Nah man, you're good.
-Jay climbs into the narrow back seat
Me: (That's odd, I thought he would have taken the front seat.)

Off we go down the street to the gas station to fill up with gas. Naturally, Cole wants me to pump the gas. I get out and look around.

Me: (Hmmm, the only white person here and everyone's looking at me. Probably wondering what the hell I am doing here. So am I. Dammit, all I wanted to do was get drunk, now I gotta... do stuff.)

I get back in the car and grab for a beer. Cole starts driving back to the street we came from, then continues past where we picked up Jay. We get to the beginning of a dead end street and see Marvin, posted up at the end of his driveway. We drive past him and turn around, then back and park across the street from where he is standing. It's dark now. Jay wants to talk to him so I let him out and get back in.

Me: (Finally, I can sit back and drink a beer.)

Cole is looking out the window at the two of them talking. Without saying a word he gets out of the car and walks over to them. I watch for a second or two and then rest my head back and close my eyes. About half a minute later, I look out to see whats going on. Marvin had a handgun out, I don't know what caliber, but clearly a gun. Marvin is yelling and shouting at Cole, who is positioned directly behind Jay who was trying to protect Cole. I can't move a muscle, I am either numb, or I don't actually realize what is happening. Cole takes off in a sprint up the street, shedding his shirt along the way. Pop pop pop! Marvin fires at Cole as he runs. He turns to face the car and starts to walk towards me.

Me: (Shit, what do I do. I don't know, fuck.)

I can't move. I'm paralyzed with fear. He opens the driver door points the gun directly in my face. The chains release and I step out of the car clutching an unopened can of beer. With one look at him, I hurl the can at his face with as much ferocity as I can muster. Hearing the thud upon striking his face I turn and run as fast as my legs will allow. My heart is pounding so hard I think that it will tear through my ribs. I run so hard and fast that my legs burn to their very core, I want to stop, but I can't. With about twenty yards between us I again hear the crack of his pistol until his chamber is empty. I don't even look back until I'm a quarter mile down the road. I can't see anything but figures in the dark.
I enter a small cluster of apartments where I believe Cole is hiding. There is only one old man standing outside of his door, when I walk by he turns and goes back inside. Around to the back of the building Cole waves to me to come over. I'm actually relieved to see him. It's dark where he's hiding, and he is crouched pretty low down. I sit down with my back on the wall, reach in my pocket for a cigarette. When I try and light my cigarette, I notice that my hand is shaking uncontrollably, I barely light it. Cole's hand grabs my shoulder.
I look at him, seeing that he is clutching his stomach. With tears in his eyes he says “I just want to go home.” I don't say anything back.

(Me too.)