Adrian

I live here in Lancaster House now. I collect clocks and I am fifty-fifty one. I always forget which one it is. I came here because Mum died. She died and we put her in the ground. Yep, yep, she's dead, she's dead and buried in the ground.

It's alright. But I don't like Tuesdays, I don't like liver and I don't like the smell of it in the house. And I don't like some of the stupid rules. Rules they say, are “made to be broken.” Have they heard of that one? It's the rules I have to go outside for my fags. But Mum always let me have them in my room.

She said, she said, I'll tell you what she said. She said: “Adrian, Adrian, look at me when I'm talking to you” she always said "look at me when I'm talking to you." Then she said “Adrian this is your home, and it belongs to you. What you want to do in your room is your business. Just don't go getting paint all over my nice clean carpets again.”

She said that because of the painting I used to do, but I don't do that anymore. I do something different instead, something different like clocks. Paint is too messy. They said, they said, I'll tell you what they said: “Why don't you try something new Adrian?”

And now I go to the club and to the bingo and now I'm doing work on the computers. And Laura goes there as well. Laura, Laura, lovely Laura. She used to live on the next road to us and she's got a support worker who comes to her house on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

We are what you call “more than just friends” but we are good friends as well. I used to ring her up and say “Hello Laura. Do you want to come to my house for tea?”
And then she'd say, she'd say, I'll tell you what she'd say. She'd say; “Ok Adrian. I'll tell my support worker I'm coming to your house for tea.”
Then she would come round and then she would watch Eastenders with Mum and I smoked my fags in my room. Because Laura didn't like smoke anyway. Then I'd say, I'd say to her: “Let's go to the pub” then she'd say “ok”. Then she had half a pint of shandy and I had a coke because I don't like the taste of it anyway.

Sometimes, sometimes, yep, yep, they have karaoke in the pub and I do a number. I do Elvis or I do Madonna. And Tony who is in charge of the pub said, he said, I'll tell you what he said. He said: “You've missed your path in life Adrian, you should've been on the stage, like.”
Tony said that because he likes me. Yep, yep he likes me because I'm a regular and a local. I went to the pub with Mum and Dad and then I went with Laura because Mum and Dad were too old.

Dad died. Yep, yep, he went in a home and we went and saw him. Me and Mum went in there to see him. I didn't like it and the nurse said “Please tell your son to stop shouting.”
I've stopped doing that now. Now when I get stressed out I have to go into the other room and then I have to do my breathing and “let it out in a more positive way”. That was what my keyworker said. She said, she said, I'll tell you what she said: “Adrian, people don't like it when you shout.”

Mum's dead. She died in the hospital and the doctor said, he said, I'll tell you what he said. He said: “I'm sorry.” Mum died and we put her in the ground. And I moved to Lancaster House so I wasn't on my own.

I want to go back to our old house. Four red windows on the front. Three red windows on the side. Five red windows on the back, if you count the window over the door.

The house is “up for sale.” I went back to see it. I counted the windows and looked at the door. They took me in the car when they were doing the shopping. My support worker Andy said, he said, I'll tell you what he said. He said: “Your mum was a special lady and you've got lots of good memories haven't you Adrian? We can look at the photos when we get back if you want to.” I like Andy, yep, yep, he's a nice guy. He said, he said “Don't worry Adrian, everything is going to be alright.”

Mum died, she's dead and buried in the ground. Now we are going back to Lancaster house and it's Tuesday and I don't like the smell of liver in the house. When we get back I will try to ring Laura, Laura lovely Laura. She will say “Hello?”
I will say “Hello Laura it's me, Adrian”
and she will say “Hello Adrian”
and I will say “Laura, Mum's dead, she's dead and when she died in the hospital we went and buried her in the ground”
and she will say “I know Adrian, I know. You told me that yesterday”
and I will say “Oh. I know. But I want to go back to the house.”
and she will say “I know you want to go back to the house with your mum Adrian but there's nothing we can do now, is there?”
And I will say “No, Laura you're right, you're right. Yep, yep, Laura, you're right. But Laura, Laura lovely Laura, can I come to your house for tea?”