F) Telephone Travels

Beep
and warble
Your
"Mission Impossible"
mobile phone.

"Hi... yeah....
I'm on the train."

No hands free,
mute button,
If you had brains
they'd be fried by now.

"Yeah ...
so wasted, man!"

Hangover stench
and stale cigarette,
Your moronic
megaphone
mouth
moans

"No ...
if she comes too
I can't hack it!"

Leaving me unsure
Which would be the bigger fool,
The tart
or the ticketless turd.

"That would be just ...
too RANDOM,
man!"