Houston, We Have A Problem.

I had been putting off going to the doctor for months! That is what I am like, if I am worried about something, I ponder and worry about it, fear the worst, think of every bad scenario, and put it as far back to the back of my mind as I can. I remember many years ago well before I got married, I found a lump in the shower, I was not trying to find a lump, and was gutted to have found it. I fret and worried and lost sleep! During that time, of also trying to ignore it, my best friend, her sister who I know very well, found a lump too, and within 3 weeks her breast was off! I didn't pluck up the courage to go to the doctors for 6 months! Not wise, but we are all different.

So once again I have been fretting for the last 6 months. I plucked up the courage on Sunday to tell my Husband. He was very encouraging, and I felt a tad better, then last night I told him, "Tomorrow I will go to the doctors!" Then later on I said, "I don't think I will go." But now that it was in the open, the arguments to go and not to go was now known to another, and Paul said, "You need to go, and then you can have peace of mind." He was right, but what if it was bad news? I didn't want to know. A lovely man, I know, he had an agressive form of cancer and died Sunday, he only had it for 6 months. His poor wife and 3 kids. All the treatmens and blood transfusions that he had, nothing had worked, and he still past away.  

So, I said to Paul last night, "OK, I will go to the doctors, tomorrow." I was now committed. I set my alarm for 7am just incase I needed it, and got up at 7am the 6 cats and 2 dogs know my routine with them, but it wasn't going to happen this morning, I do not drive in the snow, so when I saw it, I knew that I would be walking! It was imperative that I arrived at the doctors for 07.59 or before, as they open the door at 08.00. There is usually about 8 people in the queue. These 8 people get the appointments, before those on the phones tying to get appointments too, but those on the phones do no stand a chance! As us 8 will be getting it before them, and I don't know how many non appointments are allocated each day. But as it is a first come first served basis, then those that walk through the door of the doctor, get the appointments. This has been the new rule for the last 10 years or so.

I left the cats and dogs at home confused as to my behaviour, they refused to go out, as they knew with me I always gave them breakfast first. There was no time for that this morning, I had to think of myself first before them. I freshened up, got dressed and was ready incase the doctor was going to see me soon after I had arrived, I had to be ready.

I arrived at 07.58 and the door was soon opened, I was 5th in the queue, while two others were behind me. The lady who was in the front of the queue, I thought it was odd, that after she had finished talking with the receptionist, that she went again to the back of the queue! I could hear it was a recorded message and was puzzled.

Then it was my turn, she said, "How can I help?" I said, "I have plucked up the coureage to see the doctor today," She said, "You need to ring 111," I said, "When?" She said, "Now," I repeated myself, and again she said, "You need to ring 111," I said, "Why? I am here at the doctors." She said, "Ring 111, there are only FIVE appointments left." I said, "OK." I thought that was the daftest thing I ever heard, so I went into the corner of the doctors surgery and rang 111. I didn't want the other people to hear my personal details and why I was at the doctors.

The 111 operator man was lovely, it felt like he asked me 50 general questions that I needed to say, "Yes and no," To. Then he said, "I will contact your doctors and they will then phone you so that you can have an appointment, you will be referred to them." I said, "OK, thank you." I then walked 4 steps to the reception desk, and let her know that I have been referred. She took my details and said, "A doctor will ring you today." I said, "OK, thank you."

Usually, in the past, the doctor would ring before 09.30am and then give me an appointment, but in covid time, it changed to a nurse, who then decided if you were ill enough and if she thought you were not ill enough, then you didn't see the doctor! 

I was worried, when no doctor rang, but then a doctor rang me at 11.40am she was lovely and asked me questions, and she then said, "I can book you an appointment 11.20 tomorrow," I said, "Can't it be today?" She said, "No, there are no appointments left today," I said, "OK, thank you."

So, I have to worry, one more night.