What Is The Price Of Life? Part Two.

It was good to be going home.

There is a fantastic new series on the telly called, “Face Your Phobia.” I had watched it last week, it sadly didn’t show the spider one, but it was very interesting indeed!

It followed three people and their journey with their phobia and the result. The one man he was terrified of ballons, now I couldn’t understand that, but we could all see his tears and fears for them. Paul said to me, “I can relate to him, for I don’t like it when they go BANG!” Then there was the man who was VERY scared of mice, and as with the balloon man they tried to explain why they were afraid. I did wonder could I stand in a clear small box with two mice in it? From the safety of my sofa, I thought I could. Now the third person, She explained, “My phobia is SO rare, I have never met anyone who has it.” I wondered what that could be. She was petrified of been a passenger in a car. Now I could 100% relate.

All three of them on the first day of their treatment, after they had met their fears head on, they were given a beater blocker tablet, then on the next day, they were cured! The man with the ballon was able to pop them, the man with the fear of mice, put both feet in the clear box and was ok, the lady who was afraid, of been in the car, on her first day, she almost came out of the car while it was still driving! If I remember, she was the only one, that the beater blockers didn’t work for.     

I would not say I have that phobia, but I just don’t always like it, and it does depend on who is driving, for if it is a ‘good’ driver who does not speed, or who makes me feel secure, then I am ok, and I will say, when I arrive, “That was beautifully driven, thank you.”

For decades, I have said, “Watch that bike,” or have held on, or put my hand on the dashboard, ready for the impact! It has a name, back seat driver, that is definitely me.

I watched as my daughter on the map arrived in the large car park, and pulled up along side my car. We both smiled at the technology and how smoothly it had worked.

I took a few things out of my car and put them into the back seat of Meghan’s car. Meghan’s car compared to my seven-seater car, is VERY tiny!

Since passing her test, this was the first time, I would be driving long distance in it with her. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all!!

We had not gone far, when suddenly I put my hand on the dashboard, in front of me, then seconds later again, I did the same thing. Meghan said, “Mum don’t do that, you don’t like it when your Mum does it, don’t do it!” I then had to look down and not look up, for most of the journey. I did this and still sounded happy in our conversations. Different things make us afraid; we are all different.

It was almost 2am now, I thought I would get the bus tomorrow to my Mum’s, she has dementia, I had told Mum, “I will be with you at 9am,” But the only problem with that is, the breakdown cover company would be with my car, between 08.00 to 12pm. I decided I would get the bus; I knew Saturday was a normal day for buses, and that they would be often.

When I looked on line for the bus times, it would be two buses, and it would take well over two hours! It is dark and lonely where I live, I didn’t fancy walking on the street, in the dark 06.30am to get the 07.00am bus, but even then, it would not get me to my car for 08.00.

I decided to ring for a quote from a taxi, I had found the address for the superstore, and had given him the post code and the name of the road, but he couldn’t find it on their computers to give me the quote. He said, “I will ring you back in 10 minutes, with the quote, by now it was 02.10am, I was very tired, it would be a very long day tomorrow. I sat on the edge of the bed, my mobile alarm was set for 06.00am and I waited, at 02.20 he rang my mobile and said, “The quote is, “Nineteen pounds,” I said, “That is too expensive, I can’t pay that, thank you anyway.” I was shocked at that price, after all, it is still January, the longest, lean month of the year! So, it was to be the bus then, I wasn’t sure how it would all pan out, but I would get up at 06.00am and aim to leave the house, realistically at 07.00am to walk to the bus station.

I woke up, 05.45am and got up, crept downstairs clutching my clean clothes that I had laid out the night before, and went down stairs, all the 6 cats were eager and ready for their breakfast, I could not disappoint them, I fed them, then put them out, Clarence was extra slow eating his, but breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so why should I rush them? Next, I put the one dog out, and then put the other dog out, then I gave them their treats. I changed Nannies cat litters, Then I ran a bath for myself. Time sped on! When I got out the bath, I looked at the time, it was, 07.07am! I then thought, what is the price of life? One I am not gonna make it, anywhere on time, and two, for my own safety, and wellbeing, I can spend £19 to keep me safe and less stressed out. For the night before, I had had visions of been attacked and my laptop taken! I’m too old for this, I am no spring chicken. So, when I was ready, with coat, hat, scarf, and lipstick on, I rang the taxi company back and asked if they could, “come and get me know.” A text soon arrived of the name of the driver and his car colour and reg. When he arrived, I said, “I need to go to the cashpoint to take out the money,” He said, “OK,” I hoped he wouldn’t charge me more, as I didn’t have it. It was a relief to be going in the taxi, it was the right decision in the end.

I arrived at Mums for 08.00am, that was a bonus, that gave me a head start. Mum was still asleep.  I woke Mum up, and helped her out of bed, then my mobile rang, I thought oh no, it is the breakdown cover company, but when I looked at my phone it was a very good friend! She Never rings me at this time, something bad must have happened! Something bad did happen, she told me of someone we both know who had suddenly died this morning, and he wasn’t even sick! It was a massive shock!

She wanted to talk further, but I said, “I am really sorry, I have to go, can I phone you back later?” She said, “Yes,” I then helped Mum to get dress, and while I gave her, her medication I had put the bacon on for her breakfast. My mobile rang again at 08.20am the lady from the break down cover said, “The Patrol will be with you 09.30am,” Relived, I said, “OK, thank you,” That would give be extra time to cook Mums breakfast, but as usual I gave Mum her cider vinegar, with a bit of water and honey followed by half an orange, then a spoon of disgusting cod liver oil, also followed by half an orange. My phone rang again, it was the Patrol man, he said, “I will arrive at the superstore at 09.05am.” I replied, “OK, I am at my Mum, ten minutes’ walk away.” I had no time to add the eggs and do the toast and spaghetti, I had given Mum a cup of tea, so I rang William, and said, “Please can you come and finish off making Mum’s breakfast, as my car has broken down, and I have to leave now?” He said, “Yes I am on my way.” I shut the kitchen door and said to Mum, “Please do not go in the kitchen, William is on his way to finish off your breakfast,” Mum replied, “OK.” I grabbed my car keys and made sure, I had my fob to get back into the building and left Mums key in the lock outside her door.    

In the car, it is nothing to get to the superstore, but it took 10 what seemed like very long minutes to get there. As I arrive, for I had told him where I had parked, it was lovely to see his flashing bright lights from his large van, parked in front of my car.

I gave him the keys so he could open the car and I said, “I will go inside the store and tell them that I have broken down and that you are here,” He said, “OK.” I went to customer service, she told me, “Write down your name and car reg,” This I did, she said to me, “As you were here last night, it might still register that you were here over 3 hours, if you get a letter, just ring us up and we will cancel it, and you won’t have to pay the fine.” I replied, “OK.”

I went back to the Patrol man, who told me, “Your head gasket has gone!” I said, “Is that bad?” He said, “Yes, it is a big job, this car is old, and it would cost more than the car is worth to fix it.” I said, “What caused it?” He said, “There was no water in the tank, it had run dry, no water in it, split it and damaged it, I have put water in and it is leaking out on to the floor.” I was devastated! I had broken my new lovely bargain car, by not adding water to it, when the sign had first come up. It seemed like a nightmare, what had I done?

He said, “What do you want to do?” I said, “I want you to take it to my garage, by my home,” He said, “You will drive it, I will follow behind you, you put your heating on full and when you are at the traffic lights turn off your engine,”

We set off; it was very comforting seeing him behind me all the way to my garage. When we arrived, they were closed as I knew they would be, the high metal gates were all closed and the shutters down. I parked my car outside, so they would see it when they arrive on Monday. I took out a bottle of water and locked my car. He said, to me, “What would you like to do now?” I said, “I live one minute from here, can I pop home and grab a few things as I will now be sleeping over at Mums,” He said, “I can’t do that, I will get into trouble, but I can drop you of at your Mum’s home.” I said, “Thank you SO much, that would be great.” Knowing it would cost me over £20 to get to Mums and much quicker than if I was now to take the bus back to Mums.

RIP C.R.