She read to me

She read me poetry over the phone
but I did not recognise her voice.
The line "to me you are everything"
made my heart flutter like a packet of crisps falling
from the top row of a vending machine.

I wondered whether she had dialled the wrong number
and I felt bad that maybe there was someone
the poetry was intended for
who would never hear it
and would now almost certainly
die alone.

I wondered whether it was a girl
I had spoken to at a party
and she felt so enamored
that this was her way of telling me
but I could not place the voice
and by the time she had reached the final
rhyming couplet
I was none the wiser
and 1471 did not help.

I had to know who it was
but when you rhymed 'groan' with 'pheromone'
my back tingled

with the realisation that I was probably just a victim
of some new Channel 4 show
most likely hosted
by Jimmy Carr.