Walking Wounded

Walking Wounded

A Play By Paul McCann

The Plot

This play is set within a hospital ward . There are a number of patients with their conditions . Some crazy , some injured , others old and senile but the nurses have a hold over it all and somehow manage to keep control of the situations as well as their own sanity .

The Set

Its a simple enough arrangement of props, with a couple of small beds and lockers beside them . Bowls of fruit here and there sit on lockers as well as soft drink bottles and flowers ., cards etc , A chair sits by each bed ,
The exit off stage is also the exit from the hospital ward .

The patients only exit when leaving and the nurse is dressed in a white dress .
The patients are dressed in pyjamas and dressing gowns .,
A mobile stand that can be used to surround a bed sits in the corner , it is the only privacy that the patient has in certain areas .

The players

Patients

Mr Mc Mackin
Robert
Fegus

These acting roles are interchanged and can be doubled as visitors roles and other extras during the play

Staff

Nurse Fiona – RN In charge
Dr Campbell - The head Doctor
Doris - Social Worker

Hospital Visitors include

Roberts Father
Mr Mc Mackins wife
Fergus’s wife

Various other extras

An ambulance driver

Act One

The play begins in the hospital ward . A few beds are occupied by patients asleep .One young lad does a forward roll or a somersault up the ward and lands on his feet by one of the beds . One of the nurses caught sight of his antics and made her point .

The ward has only two patients present .

Dialogue begins

Nurse Fiona : “ Robert , any more of that and I’ll see to it you’ll get extra medication ok .

(She makes her way to the other patient who looks in a bad way in the bed )

How are you today Mr McMackin? “

Mr Mc Mackin : “ What ?”

Robert : “ Are you deaf or something ? “

(He does another somersault over to his bed )

Give me a drink of your lemonade. “

(He reaches out for the bottle )

Mr Mc Mackin : “ Here you , take your hands of that .”

Nurse Fiona : “Robert get back to your bed, right this instant .”

Robert : “ ( Laughing ) Ha Ha . I can do anything I want round here . I’m the king of this place . You can’t touch me .“

Nurse Fiona : “ I think that maybe we’ll have to keep you in here a little while longer Robert . I’m not sure you’re ready to be released yet . “

Robert : “ I don’t care . I’ll get out . You don’t have nothing on me . My Dads coming tonight . He’s going to take me home .“

(Robert puts the lemonade in his mouth and drinks , then goes back to his own bed . Nurse Fiona leaves the ward with the words )

Nurse Fiona :“ So you’re leaving us tomorrow then, well we’ll see about that.”

Robert : “ Don’t you ring up my Dad “ (Shouting in fear )

Mr Mc Mackin : “ Hey you , big mouth , come here .”

Robert : (With his feet skipping over to the bed , he bursts out in song )
“ They’re coming to take me away , Ha Ha He Hee Ho Ho . Don’t you think I’ve got a good voice ? Give me a cigarette , will you ?”

Mr Mc Mackin : “There’s a packet in my locker here . Take one out , ok .”

Robert : “ You’re dead on . I’ll give you a couple tonight when my Dad comes . He’s bringing me a packet . What happened you anyway Mister ?”

Mr Mc Mackin : “I was run over by an armoured car .“

Robert : “ Where you throwing petrol bombs at it then ?”

Mr Mc Mackin : “ No I just walked out of the club and then the next thing I knew , this army tank mounted the footpath and I was collected , like a skittle on the way .“

Robert : “ I’ll bet you were half tore and you walked in front of it probably . “

Mr Mc Mackin : “ You’re wrong kid . I’ve a half dozen witnesses who saw what happened , so why don’t you do your wee handstand and flip out of my sight .“

Robert : “ Here I was only joking . ( Smans ) Ha Ha . Don’t feel bad .“

Nurse Fiona brings a new patient into the ward . The patient is shaking from head to foot . Without warning Robert does a back flip or a forward roll over to the new patient Fergus , who reacts immediately .

Fergus : “ You bastard . (Swinging punches) I’ll kill you . I’ll kill you..”

(Robert gets up and fights back )

Nurse Fiona :“ Doctor . Help . Help ! “

The head doctor runs in with Doris the social worker at his heels . Doctor Campbell pulls the two apart . Fergus continues to swing blindly almost catching Dr Campbell out a few times . The three hospital staff finally manage to overpower Fergus and give him a shot that put him out .

Dr Campbell : “Robert you’re under review and as it stands now you may not be released from the ward .“

Robert : “He started it Dr Campbell . I’ll cut his throat when dinner comes .“

Nurse Fiona :“ Get to you bed now .”

Dr Campbell : “Calm down everybody .“

Doris : “Could I have a word with doctor ? (Discreetly)
I think maybe if I could have a just a few moments with Robert , I could maybe try and settle him down a little bit . ”

Dr Campbell : “ I think that would be called for . I’ll see you when you’ve finished before I make any decision about Robert . Nurse keep under your eye the well sedated. I’ll get in touch with the family before making my report . Would you give me a written report before the end of your shift please . “

Doris : “ Yes doctor .. Doctor I think maybe we need to talk with the family , the father is coming tonight .”

Dr Campbell : “We’ll not have that , maybe not just yet . I’ll make a written report and submit it to the mental health board and we’ll take it from there .”

Doris : “Is that normal procedure round here Doctor ?”

Dr Campbell : “ Well look , there’s nothing normal about any situation here.
I really do need to discuss this matter with the mental health board before that, there’s lots of paperwork to be done. We’ll consult with the family later. Ok ”

Doris : “ Yes doctor .”

Dr Campbell : “And we’re not going to have this kind of thing happen again . Do I make myself clear ?“

Everyone : “ Yes doctor Campbell .”

( Dr Campbell , Doris , Robert and Nurse Fiona all exit . During their off set period all change into night going party gear , clothes , hair , and as they’re away from the ward Mr Mc Mackin gets out of his bed and walks about with his nightgown on , stopping every few feet to dust and to shine and to clean everything in sight, with the corner of his dressing down . As he’s cleaning and polishing , he’s humming quietly away on his slow round of the ward . Suddenly the four party goers make their way into the ward shouting and singing half drunk and very happy ).

The women

1st Woman : “ Here I hope you know where we are ”

2nd woman : “ Doesn’t look much like a maternity hospital to me.”

Two Men

1st man : “ I’m sure this is the place .“

2nd man : “Ask him.“

The women

1st Woman : “He looks like the cleaner. Hey you . ”

2nd woman “In a nightgown ? Don’t be silly. Cleaners don’t work in a nightgown.”

The Men

1st man : “ Hey, where are the babies born. Where ?”

2nd man : “Hey excuse me , hey John , my sister is expecting a baby , its going to be her first “

The women

1st Woman : “And its not going to be her last , is it ? ”

2nd woman : “ I remember my first .”

Mr Mc Mackin : “I had a friend, who had a brother, who had a baby in his head . He carried it in there for years .“

1st man : “ I’ll be back in a minute , I’m just going to check where we are .

( He exits and changes into a new set of clothes that are a pizza deliverers uniform )

Two women

1st Woman : “Imagine a baby in his head ? ”

2nd woman : “ Well you know what they say ? When you’re ahead ,stay ahead baby “)

Mr Mc Mackin : “I had the brains to become a head doctor . A chief brain surgeon .”

( A few moments silence is shattered when the pizza deliverer comes in with a cardboard box in his hand )

Pizza Deliverer : “ One family ham and pineapple for Dr Campbell . “

2nd man : “ Don’t say a word girls, just follow me out quickly . “

(The three make their exit )

Pizza Deliverer : “ Come on I haven’t got all night . Where’s Doctor Campbell

(2nd man changes back into Doctor Campbell’s white coat and returns )

Mr Mc Mackin : “I could have been a pizza deliverer once you know .”

Pizza Deliverer : “Take it from me you’re better off in here Mac . Its crazy out there in all the traffic .“

Mr Mc Mackin : “I’ll tell you a secret . I’m hiding .

(He puts his finger up in front of his face )

Do you think they can see me ?”

( Dr Campbell walks into the ward )

Dr Campbell : “Thank you . My pizza . Oh good , I’m sorry to have kept you .
Where’s Mr Mc Mackin ? “

Mr Mc Mackin : “Here I am Doctor Campbell .“ (Taking down his finger )

Dr Campbell : “Why indeed so . I never even saw you there .“

Pizza Deliverer : “If you want to pay me, then I’ll be on my way .“

(Doctor Campbell pays the deliverer who exits and changes back into the 1st mans / Robert clothes . During the time he is changing doctor Campbell shares his pizza with Mr Mackin )

Mr Mc Mackin : “I like the little pieces that hang on to the cheese doctor .Elastic stuff . Its like they don’t want to be eaten up .“

Dr Campbell : “ I think pizza is like art . Look at that .”

(Doctor Campbell shows the top of the pizza slice )

Mr Mc Mackin : “Did you see that doctor ? Its talking to me .“

Dr Campbell : “I did indeed .“

(Robert returns with Doris)

Doris : “You’ll be right now after a good nights sleep .Off you go to bed Robert .“

(Enter Nurse Fiona )

Nurse Fiona : “ You wouldn’t believe it doctor . I had four people looking for the maternity ward .“

Dr Campbell : “Did you show them the way out nurse ?”

Nurse Fiona : “Oh I did after I checked with night security , who were fast asleep would you believe .“

Dr Campbell : “ I would like another written report before you finish your shift nurse . I have to stop this kind of thing from happening again .”

Nurse Fiona : “Ok I’ll do it right away doctor Campbell.”

Doris : “Doctor Campbell I’ve just had a long talk with Robert and I’d like to have a talk with you in private if I could .”

(The three hospital staff all make their exit and change their clothes again to take on the appearance of three visitors , Roberts Dad , Mr Mc Mackins wife and Fergus’s wife who make their way into the ward , almost one after the other . During this time Robert and Mr Mc Mackin lie on their beds , sharing some thoughts . )

Robert : “ I don’t mind Doris . She’s nice .“

Mr Mc Mackin : “What’s the time ?”

Robert : “Ah , Seven thirty .”

Mr Mc Mackin : “How do you know ?”

Robert : “I saw it on Nurse Fiona’s watch , when I was looking at her. She’s nice .”

Mr Mc Mackin : “I’m sick of you . The way you talk . Always talking about Nurse Fiona .”

Robert : “Nurse didn’t even see me looking at her . “

Mr Mc Mackin : “Just shut up . Always talking about the nurses.”

Robert : “Do you want to make me shut up. Do You ?”

Mr Mc Mackin : “I’ll kill you .. I’ll kill you .“

(Getting off his bed and and grabs a chair on the way but is interrupted
by the three visitors who make their timely entry into the scene breaking them apart )

Robert : “ Hi Dad . Did you bring my cigarettes . Do you see him there . Mr Mackin . He’s going to get it .”

(Roberts Dad takes a chair and sits down beside Robert )

Robert’s Dad : “I got you twenty , Oh thanks. Thanks for the chair son . Its been a long day at work and a long walk up the hill to the hospital doors.”

Mr Mc Mackin : “ I wouldn’t know . I haven’t been outside this hospital ward for three and a half months or . Maybe its six months even .

Robert’s Dad : “ I’m sure it won’t be long until you’re out again .“

(Mr Mc Mackin’s wife comes in and grabs a chair and sits by her husbands bed .)

Mr Mc Mackin : “Do you see our new arrival there ?”

Mrs Mc Mackin :”Sleeping beauty you mean .“

(Fergus gets his visitor . She carries a bag and seems happy to see him.
His wife stirs a bit , his wife comes in and sits down quietly beside his bed .)

Robert : “See him over there . I’m going to cut his throat .”

Robert ‘s Dad : “You’ll do nothing of the sort .“

Robert : “Just watch me Dad.”

Robert‘s Dad :“You shut up or else I’m not coming back ever again to visit you. “

Robert : “Where’s my cigarettes then ?”

(His Dad hands them over )

Fergus : “Jesus get me out of here , get me out of here Jesus . Get me out .“

(In a very worried nervous tone )

Fergus’s Wife : “Calm down love. We’re all with you.”

Fergus : “I want out . Tell them , I want out ok . Come on love , Get me out of here .“

Fergus’s Wife :”Here I brought you some fruit .“

( She hands him some apples and oranges from her bag )

Mr Mc Mackin : “Poor man .” .

Mrs Mc Mackin : “He’s a real mess .“

Robert’s Dad : “Lets have a sing song , anybody for a singsong ?”

Mr Mc Mackin : “Go ahead then you kick it off.”

Robert’s Dad : “Does every body know Danny boy ?”

Mr Mc Mackin : “Where does he live ?”

Robert’s Dad : “What about Georgie girl ?”

Mr Mc Mackin :” Is she a friend of Danny boy?”

Robert : “I’ll give you my Elvis impersonation .
(Breaking into song )

Are you lonesome tonight , do you miss me tonight .

(Everyone joins in but Fergus )

Are you sorry we drifted apart ?”

Fergus : “You’re all sick . You’re all sick in here . I don’t know why , you should all just shut up .”

( A shattered silence falls for a few moments .Then one by one the visitors make their exit )

Robert : “I’ll be out of this place tomorrow .“

Fergus : “So will I . I’m getting out tomorrow . “

Act one ends

The lights dim on stage as the three patients get into their beds . Another day comes to an end within the walls of an institution .

During the darkness on stage props can be rearranged to resemble an office .
The beds are removed and the set now is that of a social workers office .
When the lights return , Doris is sitting behind her desk going through her notes . Beside her desk is a small filing chest or cabinet .
Curtains are drawn over a window and a clock hangs up on the wall .
Various other things are in the office , a chair sits by the door , another opposite Doris . A typewriter sits on the desk , computer laptop and keyboard
A container with pens and pencils at Doris’s reach . A notepad and other folders also sit on the desk .

As the set is arranged now ,the scene is ready for act two to begin .

Act Two

Scene

Doris sits behind the desk with Robert before her . Robert is dressed in everyday clothes . Doris has a look through Roberts file then the dialogue begins .

Robert sits fidgeting nervously .

A Play By Paul McCann

The Walking Wounded

Act Two

Dialogue begins

Doris : “How do you feel ? In yourself Robert .”

Robert : “I don’t know I’ve never been able to feel much in there like you know .

(Standing up he feels himself all over )

How am I supposed to feel ?”

Doris : “All right Robert , that’s enough .”

Robert :”Maybe you don’t know but I’m getting out today .“

Doris : “I know Robert . Do you think you’ll be able to live back with your father without drinking any more bleach and without breaking any more things around the home ?”

Robert : “I don’t know what you’re talking about . He only said that to have me put away for a few weeks so he could have a holiday . I didn’t do any of those things he said .”

Doris : “I can’t see any reason why you should stay in here any longer , so if you sign this paper, you can pick your personal belongings up and leave the hospital .”

Robert :”Are you serious . I couldn’t sign to save my life “

Doris : “Look just put an X then . Here.”

Robert : “What’s an X ? ”

Doris : “Aw , forget it give me your thumb .”

(She puts his thumb on her inkpad and stamps his thumbprint on the release form)
Ok then you can go . See . Bye this time and never be the same again . Off you go and behave yourself .”

Robert :”Bye Bye”

(He exits as Doctor Campbell walks in . Meanwhile Robert has a change of clothes into an ambulance drivers uniform )

Dr Campbell : “Has he gone then ?”

Doris : “ Yes doctor . ”

Dr Campbell : “Thank God . We’re in need of another bed right away . There’s a young lad on his way . He’s in the ambulance right as I speak . He’s in a bad way someone found him talking to a lamp post in the city centre . When they tried to put him in the ambulance he took all his clothes off and sat down in the middle of the main street . Three buses had to swerve around him .He says that he is from another planet and must speak to the head of the church and the government . He smells of drink and drugs , I’ve been told by the man who found him that the ambulance driver is also a little concerned and didn’t want to pick him up . So the ambulance driver might need some one to talk to when he gets here .”

Doris : “ Doctor , do you remember that bed that you’re are going to give this new arrival has been allocated already for Patrick Morgan , the sheep farmer who tried to ride his tractor across the ocean to America .”

Dr Campbell : “Oh God that’s right . I forgot about him . Listen , how do you think Mr Mackin is doing ? ”

Doris : “ Not yet sane . Very unsteady . He has moments of psychotic
Behaviour , followed by brief periods of anger . Not yet stable enough yet I’d say for release doctor .”

Dr Campbell : “What about any of the other wards ?”

Doris : “ There’s no vacant beds anywhere . Every patient in those wards from my point of view needs locked up in a security situation or in a tighter institution than us . That Mc Kenna in ward C tried to pull the plug from the TV set for his own E.C.T. treatment , if you know what I mean and if the nurse on duty hadn’t stopped him he’d have had every patient in that ward under the same process . In giving up the electric plug two hospital staff were cut with a blade that he produced from his pocket.”

Dr Campbell : “All right I get the message . Get Mr Mc Mackin ready for discharge . I think he’s recovered enough .”

Doris : “But doctor .“

Dr Campbell : “Do what I say m Doris .“

Doris : “ What ever you say doctor .“

Dr Campbell : “Have his papers ready. Get in contact with his wife , he will need to be collected before tea . That will give us two beds now in the recovery ward and get that new chap back together again quick as you can. There’s two patients on their way up from ward C in a week . They’re due to be released at the end of the month .“

Doris : “ Just as you say doctor Campbell .“

Dr Campbell : “Try and keep the staff out of the drugs cabinet . Five staff members while under the influence of some uppers managed to start a party last night and alerted security . It was very tricky situation , but I managed to straighten it out again .”

Doris : “ Yes I heard all about that wild party last night . I would have been there myself only for that report that I had to get finished .”

Dr Campbell : “I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that Doris .”

Doris : “ Ok doctor . I’ll pass the word along .“

Dr Campbell : “I’m just going to have a word with Mr Mackin .”

Doris : “ That’s Mr Mackin .“

Dr Campbell : “Of course . I’ll send him into you in a few minutes .“

Doris : “Right doctor. I’ll have all his papers ready and I’ll just call his wife .”

Dr Campbell : “Thank you .“

(Doctor Campbell exits as Doris picks up the phone . As Doris lifts the phone into the scene comes an ambulance driver who is Robert in a new set of clothes . During his time with Doris Doctor Campbell has a quick change into a pair of jeans and a jacket . Both are soaking wet . There clothes are dripping . Enter Ambulance driver as Doris puts down the phone )

Ambulance driver : “Pouring down outside .Cats and dogs out there “

Doris : “Have you the young lad who was talking to lamp posts ?”

Ambulance driver : “Yeah ,he’s in the corridor under a watchful eye .”

Doris : “What’s his name ?”

Ambulance driver : “At first he was Saint Jude , help of the hopeless , then he was George Shaw ,Bernard Shaw , next he became Father Duffy . So as far as I remember his last name was Herman .”

Doris : “Bring Herman in then if you wouldn’t mind .”

(The driver goes to the door and shouts )

Ambulance driver : “Would you mind coming in here sir ?”

(In walks a very withdrawn man . Head down and talking to himself. Muttering muttering away . “

Doris : “Who have I ?“

Patient : ”You have but yourself and I , who have I ?”

Doris : “ That will be all, thank you driver . I’ll take it from here .”

Ambulance driver : “Right then see you later . Take good care of my friend will you .”

Doris : “You rest easy . He will be as right a rain .“

Ambulance driver : “Don’t talk about rain . I’m off to Roswater village , to pick up the local idiot there , who has fallen through the chemist shop roof in a break and entry job .“

(The driver exits from the set )

Doris : “Well now what have you been up to ?”

Patient : ”Its not me you know . Its them .”

Doris : “Them I take it , are friends of yours ?”

Patient : ”They don’t think I am ,but I do .“
.”

Doris : ” You mean the lamp posts ?”

Patient : ”No . What’s the matter with you ? They’re on our side .”

Doris : ”I see , tell me . Who are you frightened of .”

Patient : ”Spies might be listening . I can’t reveal anything to you now .”

Doris : ”You’re safe here . There are no spies . I promise .”

Patient : ”Are you recording this conversation ?”

Doris : ”Why would I do that . I’m here to help you . So tell me what’s the real problem at the moment .‘”

Patient : ”Do you know who I am ?”

Doris :“No . Who are you ?”

Patient : ”Saint Patrick . (He kneels down )
God save this world . I know you want to wipe it off the face of the universe but I , Patrick , will change the way people act .“

Doris :“Patrick is there any of your family living in the area ?”

Patient : ”Its not your fault . Because you don’t know ”

Doris :“What don’t I know ?”

Patient : ”The snow . Its thick on the mountain top but the sun will not shine through the clouds .“

Doris :“ Patrick , have you been taking any drugs ?””

Patient : ” Yes “ ( Breaking down in tears)

Doris :“ What did you take Patrick ?”
Patient : ” Everything “

Doris :“Name some of the things you’ve taken .”

Patient : ” LSD , Heroin ,hash ,solid acid, speed , marijuana ,trips, all sorts of things , uppers , downers , cocaine ,cough mixtures cocktails ,nerve tablets , glue bags , morphine ,painkillers , that’s all I remember .”

Doris :“How long have you been taking drugs Patrick ?”

Patient : ”Six months.”

(Doris picks up the phone on her desk as Patrick sits there quietly)

Doris :“Hello . Nurse Fiona . Its Doris here , I forgot to tell you .
(She lights up a cigarette)

Doctor Campbell wants you to work an extra shift . Is that ok?

(The patient , Patrick sits there like a baby in the chair)

Patient : “I need help and if I don’t get it I’ll go elsewhere. “

Doris :“Hold on Patrick . Nurse , I know its your third double shift in a fortnight , but you’re well aware we’re understaffed and doctor Campbell has promised to get three student nurses next week, but I have a young man here Patrick , who is in need of urgent help . Can you please come and collect him.
He has a bed waiting in the recovery ward . Ok . Thank you Fiona .”

(Putting down the phone Patrick puts his feet up on the desk)

Patient : “ I love you .“

Doris :“ (Shocked ) You’ll be looked after. “

Patrick : “Can you let my sister know where I am ?”

Doris :“What’s name ?”

Patrick : “Wait a minute , I know it . Just give me a second now . I can see her face .“

(In a temper he gets up from the chair and kicks a few things in the office)

Enter Nurse Fiona

Nurse Fiona : “Well I see you’re not top happy then ?

(She puts her arm around him )

Tell me all about it now.“

(Both exit the office. Patrick changes clothes back into Doctor Campbell’s coat Enter Mr Mc Mackin, dressed in everyday clothes . He sits down at the desk)

Mr Mc Mackin : “Is my wife here yet .

(He picks up the odd item from the desk and polishes it )

I’m going home today .”

Doris : “Well that’s great news . How do you feel ?”

Mr Mc Mackin : “I’m ok but , it’s the stse opf the place I’m worried about .”

Doris : “Everything is in order Mr Mc Mackin . If you wait at the front door your wife will pick you up shortly . Off you go now and we’ll not see you again now , ok .”

Mr Mc Mackin : “Thanks for all the help doctor .”

(Exit Mr Mc Mackin who changes into a farmers clothes , takinbg the character of Paddy Morgan sheep farmer )

Enter Doctor Campbell

Doctor Campbell : “That young lad is in a bad way . He’s sedated for the time being but first thing tomorrow I want him down for an E.C.T. course . Can you make a note of that Doris .“

Doris : “I will doctor . I told nurse Fiona you have asked for relief staff .
I hope that was the right thing to say .“.

Doctor Campbell : “Is she going to work the double shift ?”

Doris : “Yes Doctor.”
Doctor Campbell : “Right . The thing is there is no chance of us getting any more staff for at least six months . The other thing is we don’t have enough beds available . People are walking out from this institution not yet recovered . There is no proper care for them and let’s face it Doris , it’s the walking wounded we’re sending out into a world that has no compassion .”

Enter Patrick Morgan sheep farmer

Patrick Morgan : “Doctor listen to me . I have my tractor out the front . Let’s go to America now . Right away .”

Doctor Campbell : “Listen to me .

( He puts his arm around the new arrival )

I can personally guarantee you , tractors cannot go on the top of the ocean .”

Patrick Morgan : “Mine can .“ (Sincerely)

Doctor Campbell : “Believe me , its impossible .”

Patrick Morgan : “Just trust me . Come on and try . It will be ok .“

(Doctor Campbell helps him out , the two exit for a quick change of clothes . Doctor Campbell becomes a footballer wearing a plaster cast on his arm and leg while Morgan the sheep farmer assumes the character of an old man with senility setting in . Enter Nurse Fiona with some papers in her hand )

Nurse Fiona : “I’ve made out the report for you to have a look at .“

Doris : “Let me have a look .“

(Nurse Fiona hands them over )

Nurse Fiona : “ Was that the sheep farmer with the miracle tractor then ?”

Doris : “Yes . (Briefly reading through the reports )

He wanted to take Doctor Campbell over the water to America .”

Nurse Fiona : “ I wish he would , so I could get a break .“

Doris : “Just stick it out Fiona .There will be some relief here soon .“

Nurse Fiona : “There are no vacant beds anywhere .“

Doris : “ Let’s just hope we don’t get any emergency cases in .”
Enter the footballer in the plaster casts

The footballer: “I must talk to somebody .”

Doris : “Would you like to take a seat . (She smans)

Oh , I’m terribly sorry . Talk standing up if that suits .“

The footballer: “I’m a professional football player How does my wife expect me to earn a living with a broken leg and a broken wrist .I mean how am I supposed to take a one two or a square ball .I can’t take it on the run with a broken leg . Tell me . She can’t seem to understand the situation . She’s out in the car . Can I bring her in , maybe you can talk some sense into her because I can’t get it through to her . Its not my fault that I’m off for the rest of the season .What does she expect me to do ?”

Doris : “ Now, as I see it , you’re having a bit of an argument with your partner . Am I correct ?”

The footballer: “You could say that .“

Nurse Fiona : “ Listen why don’t I go and talk with your wife in private while you wait here in the office .“

The footballer: “You can try ,but believe me , you’ve got a battle ahead of you sister . I’ve been trying to talk sense into her all week .”

Doris : ““What’s your wife’s name ?”

The footballer: “ I call her Pinky .”

Nurse Fiona : “ Has she a real name ?”

The footballer: “ Patricia is the handle she goes by, but she prefers Pinky .
Believe me, I’ve been with her ten years and I know she likes Pinky.”

Doris : “Can you check the car park for Pinky nurse? I’ll continue this myself”

Nurse Fiona : “ Right .“

(Exit nurse Fiona . Enter the old senile man in an overcoat )

Old Man: “Is it 22?”

Doris : “Are you all right there ?”

Old Man: “Number 22 .”

The footballer: “ I play number 9 .Centre forward , that’s me .

Old Man: “I live at number 22 .”

Doris : “Would you take a seat ?

(The old man sits down )

.Have you been out for a walk then:”

Old Man: “Where is my hat ,I can’t find hat . I must have a hat on my head if I’m going out for a walk .:

Doris : “Do you have a house you live in ?”

Old Man: “I told you , number 22 .”

Doris : “22 where ?”What is the name of your street ?”

Old Man: “How do I know, its number 22 .”

The footballer: “ I used to live in number 23 once . That was in cook street Mrs Rooney lived in number 21 . I think Mrs Sutton lived in number 22 as far as I remember .”

Doris : “Would you mind waiting outside for a couple of moments please ?”

(The footballer exits and changes into doctor Campbell’s clothes .)

Old Man: “I hope Mildred isn’t worried where I am. ”

Doris : “Is Mildred your wife ?”

Old Man: “No , she’s my cat . A ginger coloured pussy .She likes meat and milk . I can’t afford meat , I’m on a pension .”

Doris : “Do you have a wife ?”

Old Man: “Rita’s in bed . She’s sleeping .“

Doris : “Tell me . What’s your name ?”

Old Man:” Can I have a cup of tea ?”

Enter Nurse Fiona

Nurse Fiona :“There’s no car in the visitors area . It seems we have a problem .”

Doris : “Or two “

Nurse Fiona :“Who’s this then ?”

Doris : “ “That’s what I’m trying to find out .”

Enter Doctor Campbell

Doctor Campbell Doris : “

Doctor Campbell :”Well, well Mr Griffiths . What in the name of God has you in here at this hour ?”

Doris : “You know him doctor ? “

Doctor Campbell :”He was an old soldier . Suffers memory loss . He wanders in here from time to time .”

Old Man:” Can I have a half a cup of tea ?”

Doctor Campbell :”Put him into a bed nurse for the night will you .I’ll sort things out tomorrow .”

Nurse Fiona :”The wards are all full doctor ‘”

Doctor Campbell :”Improvise then , put up a bed in the corridor

Nurse Fiona :”Right doctor .”

Old Man: “ Can I have biscuits with my tea ?”

Nurse Fiona :” Come along with me now .I’ll see what I can do .

(Nurse Fiona helps the old man to his feet . Both exit and re-entry.Both exit and doctor Campbell sits down )

Doctor Campbell :”I hope that’s all for tonight Doris .”

Doris : “Well there is someone waiting outside .”

Doctor Campbell :”You mean , Noel . Centre forward?”’

Doris : “You know him as well doctor?”
l
Doctor Campbell :”All he’s after is a bed for the night and someone to listen to him. He’s an ex-patient. I’ll have another bed set up in the corridor for him .”

Doris : “The way you talk its like a refuge for the homeless in here doctor .”

Doctor Campbell :”Well I mean after all, we must do our best . Its our duty to care for, shelter and accommodate all who enter this place of rest . That may include the homeless , weak and weary , the depressed , the insane, the lonely , the frightened . In fact aren’t we all the walking wounded from time to time .

End Of Play