The Spirit of Hope

Daisy came into the house watered eyed. It’s another morning of a disappointing job search. Companies today are too damn picky of who to hire now.

I rushed over to help to her take off the hat and coat. The cold is still on the fabric as I put the items on the coat rack. My wife’s hard work is no match of today’s workforce. I keep my mouth shut about the gas being turned off today. I found that out when I try to take a warm shower. I don’t think she could carry any more problems.

“Did you take your medicine?” She asked. I nod, giving her the half truth. My cancer left me disabled to work, and my Social Security won’t kick in about a month. By that time, we’ll lose our house. I take my medicine every other day, so it can last. My insurance won’t cover my medicine anymore, and unless Daisy gets a job with benefits, my future will be short.

Daisy plopped down on the couch like a sack of potatoes. “It’s so cold out there.” She said. “I felt the wind in my bones. I thought the cold was going to reach my heart.” Her voice used to be loud and booming, like a proud drummer in a parade, but now it sounds like cracked icicles. A soft sound, unless you’re close enough to hear it fall to the ground.

“Honey, how could it be if you’re so warmhearted?” I joked as I sat down next to her. I grabbed her hand and rubbed it together. I feel her four fingers and a thumb so close together. It represents the four and a half months since she have been downsized from her sales position. After a few moments of rubbing, she pulls her hand away and asked what’s on t.v.

“You know that today is the Inauguration of Barack Obama.” I said as I gave her the remote control. “It’s going to be on all day with the celebrations. How can you miss it?”

“How can I think about the politics when I don’t have a job?” She answered with ice in her tone. We sat silently as we watched the new president spoke about having hope during America’s stressful times. She pulls a blanket off the couch and wrapped it around her. “Why is it so cold in here?”

I sighed before I gave her more of the painful burden. “Because the gas have been cut off.”

She flung the blanket off of her. “Damn, I can’t even keep my baby warm.” She turns off the television and walked upstairs.

I found Daisy lying on the bed. Our bedroom is so cold, that it didn’t matter of her tears falling off her face. They will freeze anyway. I lay next to her and placed my arm around her cold waist, trying my best to keep both of us warm.

“I am an educated 32 year old black woman who hasn’t found a job in almost five months. I sent out countless resumes to be end up in someone’s trash. I went to college. I think did all the right things in life. Why did this have to happen to me?”

“I don’t know honey.” It was all I can think to say, wishing for the first time that hope can pay the bills. At least just cut the gas back on again.