delicate

why would you let someone destroy you,would you actively seek it out-believing its what you deserve,or are you seeking someone else to do what you don't what to have to blame yourself for?.
i don't want to live,i don't want to die,merely want to hover somewhere between.disappeared.wander around where nobody knows me,and nobody seeks to.
i want to reach a point where i don't even feel loneliness anymore,for it has grown so vast thats it is what i am,not just something that i feel.
every tenderness i crave,every loving word,caress,that i am slowly giving up on.
i ache not just to give up on it,but to stop this ache that takes me over so completely that i can not even explain what the tears that well in my eyes and streak my cheeks are for.
i want nothing,i want an emptiness so empty,that you do not describe it as emptiness.i want to be devoid of it.so empty that there is nothing to be empty of.no longing,no regret,no need for skin against skin,no giddiness
no more of any of it.