Promises

Promise me, that darkness is followed by light.
I think of packing up all of my things.
to disappear.
down darkened alleyways, into those puddles where rainbows appear to shine.
down a plug hole.
I cannot fall apart here.everyone can see.
the past is past, it is unfixable.
teach me how to let it go,
and everything will be just fine.
as fine as I pretend it all is.all of the time.
this must be exhaustion?
I breathe and it hurts.I hunger…and enjoy the pain it inflicts the longer I prolong it.
I want to burn myself up.Scare everyone away.
Bleed out history.scratch it all out.my pores are filled.I need to purge.
I am destruction.it is in my veins.
it pumps through me,
surrounds me in my sleep.fills my dreams.
“shake yourself out of it”
baby,if only i could.but this dirty cloak is sewn into my skin.