By Happinstance

I walked nonchalantly down Henry Street in Dublin’s city centre, drinking in the sights and sounds of all it brought. I realised I hadn’t been there since covid had appeared its ugly head. I was taken aback at the normalness of it all. It brought a smile to my face seeing the country after opening up again.

To my right I saw a busker playing the cello. I was drawn to the particular piece he was playing, Prelude from Bach’s Cello Suite No.1. I joined the ever-growing crowd. Before he was finished, I could have counted well over a hundred people clogging up the street, all mesmerised at the skill this young man was emanating. After he had finished the final note, the people dispersed. As I was dropping €2 into his cello case, I bumped into someone who was doing the same.

‘Oh I’m sorry,’ I instinctively apologised even though I was not sure it was my fault.

‘No, no, that was my fault!’ the sweetest voice in the world answered.

I looked up, my eyes met this hunk of a man whose ebony skin shone with the sun. Our eyes locked, breaking only when the busker went on to preform his next song.

‘Hi,’ he smiled showing off his perfectly straight white teeth.

‘Hi,’ I replied and could feel the blood enter my cheeks.

He gesticulated that we move over to the side to allow the busker perform his next song to a fresh group of onlookers. I, of course, obliged.

I had seen this sort of thing on TV and in the movies, but not for one second could I believe it would happen to me of all people.

‘My name is Savi,’ the God in front of me introduced himself. His voice had a Caribbean twang to it.

‘I’m Sinead,’ I smiled as our eyes locked once more.

It felt like time had stopped, all the people around us…insignificant.

‘Would you like to get a coffee Sinead?’ he asked, his beautiful brown eyes twinkling like all the stars in the sky combined.

I was lost for words, which for me was rare, so I nodded.

As we moved the forty-five feet to the nearest café, I couldn’t help but have a stupid grin on my face, but with the grin came doubt.

Why would he want to have coffee with me?

What does he want from me?

Is this a joke, am I being secretly filmed?

Am I doing the right thing?

All of these questions were coming hard and fast. Suddenly we were in the café and he asked me what would I like. I started to take out my purse but he placed his hand on mine and winked, ‘I got this!’

As I smiled back at him, he said he was thinking of a cappuccino. Finally I found my voice and said ‘I’ll have a tea please.’ I don’t usually drink hot drinks at all, especially coffee, but I didn’t want to blow this; whatever this was.

‘Well why don’t you grab us a table and I’ll bring it over,’ his smile was so irresistible that I would have found a table on mars if it meant sharing a beverage with him.

I walked into the back of the vast establishment and there was, as if by fate, a table for two in the far corner being cleaned. I went towards it like a bullet, there was nothing in this world stopping me from spending some time with this stranger.

As I sat down, I began to wonder why me again. I immediately took out my phone and started to text my best friend and confidant, my mother. Before I could finish it however, Savi appeared with a tray full of goodies.

As he was unloading the tray he said, ‘I forgot to ask you if you wanted a lunch and then I didn’t know what you would like so I just got what I would like and am hoping it is to your taste.’

Savi outdid himself, he produced: a plate of chips and two chocolate muffins.

He sat opposite me and was biting his lower lip.

‘Its perfect!’ had he asked what I would have liked that is exactly what I would have ordered.

‘Thank you so much,’ I could feel the warmth in my cheeks return.

After he sat, he asked me if I liked salt on my chips. ‘Whatever you’d like,’ I answered. I don’t like a lot of salt on them but I don’t like them with no salt at all in reality…I just wanted to see what he would say.

‘Well,’ he started, ‘you might laugh at this,’ he rubbed his stubbly head and said, ‘yes I do like salt but not too much of it.’

I started to giggle.

‘I told you you’d probably laugh!’ he giggled along with me.

‘No,’ I said, ‘I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing because I like mine the exact same way!’

‘Oh I see,’ he nodded, ‘so we’re a pair of weirdos then!’

‘I guess we are!’

‘Please tell me you like ketchup, I don’t think I could handle you not liking ketchup!’

‘I love the stuff,’ I beamed up at him. He would have to be the most handsome guy I had ever met.

‘Excellent,’ he said. After he fought with the ketchup sachet, eventually opening it with his teeth, he emptied its contents on the side of the plate. ‘I think we should use up this one first!’ he wagged his right index finger at the other three lined up on the table.

‘Sounds like a plan!’ I said as I moved my hand towards a fork. He did the same. When our skin touched, I felt fireworks in my gut, butterflies were travelling throughout my whole body. There was definitely chemistry there…but those questions of doubt were still swirling around my mind.

‘I never do this in case you’re wondering!’ he said gesticulating between himself and me with his hands.

‘Me neither!’ I smiled but the doubts weren’t going away.

‘Can I ask you why?’ I cringed.

‘Why what?’

‘Why did you ask me for coffee? I mean look at me,’ I said tears beginning to form, ‘I’m a whale!’ I closed my eyes and bowed my head in shame.

He got up and left, returning with some more napkins. He didn’t return to his seat however, he went onto his honkers beside me and rubbed my back, feeding me tissues.

‘I asked you to coffee because of how our eyes locked beside the cellist. I felt chemistry. If I’m honest I’ve only ever dated one girl, and I met her all those years back in the Caribbean. I’ve been in Ireland for fifteen years and have only been on a handful of dates, date my mates set up for me. Trust me,’ he lifted my chin up with his hand so that he could look me in the eye once more, ‘I feel butterflies when I see those sparkly blue eyes. I see depth and strength. The fact that you are a beautiful sexy lady helps, but this is a connection that I have never had, not even in the Caribbean.’ He wiped my eyes with a napkin and returned to his seat.

I smiled at him, ‘so my weight doesn’t bother you?’ I asked as I put a chip in my mouth.

‘Trust me! I love woman I can cuddle up to. I don’t get how some men can hug a bag of bones every night!’ We both laughed.

My mind was somewhat at ease. Now I had to tell him a truth about me that I think will make him walk.

‘Ok, so….im about to tell you something about me and you can feel free to walk away. I just have to get it out there because it might be a deal breaker and even though I’ve only known you twenty minutes I feel a connection to you and I think you deserve to know,’ I stopped and took a sip of my tea.

‘I would love to hear anything and everything about you!’ Savi eyes were still sparkling, but I wondered if they would continue after my confession.

‘I have borderline personality disorder or BPD.’

‘Ok,’ Savi answered dipping a chip in some ketchup.

‘BPD basically means that I process emotions differently. I used to cut 3 – 4 times a day when I was younger. Now its down to 3 – 4 times a year.’ Savi was hanging on my every word. ‘I do a class every Monday morning called schema therapy. We all have BPD in the group. It’s changed my life for the better because it’s educating me on my illness and teaching me skills to overcome triggers.’

I took a chip and wiped up the last of the ketchup with it.

Savi reached for another sachet and seemed to be ok with what I told him.

‘How did you get it?’ he asked curiously as he put more ketchup on the plate.

‘It develops from a trauma from your childhood. Like, I myself, was sexually abused for eight years by my grandfather on my father’s side.’

Savi’s jaw dropped. ‘Are you…do you…are you ok?’

‘Yea, I’m fine. It just left me with an emotional scar that I have been learning how to live with.’

‘Do you mind me asking you questions or…...’

‘No no, ask away, I’m an open book!’

‘You said that this BPD?’ I nodded, ‘this BPD makes you process emotions differently.’ I nodded again. ‘Does it stop you feeling them?’

‘Its actually the opposite, I feel them too much. I’m very insecure as you have just seen and am learning to just take, let’s say a compliment, yea a compliment, and not think there’s a hidden agenda behind it.’

‘Whoa, that sounds difficult!’

‘It is, but that’s not everything…. I sometimes have to get admitted to a psych hospital for a few weeks for a tune up when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Ok, I’ve said it all, feel free to bail!’

‘Don’t you worry darlin, I have only good intentions. I am grateful to you for telling me, that must have been hard.’ I nodded. ‘But I can’t…’ I thought he was going to say be there for me. ‘…. let you go!’ I gasped. ‘You see I like you and if you come with baggage, I will be happy to carry it around for you.’ He smiled the sweetest smile yet. ‘But…’ here it comes, ‘…. we need more chips and more ketchup!’ I let out a sigh of relief.

We talked and talked as we ate our way through the chips and then the muffins. We talked so much that we lost track of time. We didn’t stop until the waitress informed us that they were actually closing.

‘What?’ he said in surprise, ‘how did that happen?’

I looked around. The place was empty. I gathered my coat and bag as Savi offered to help the waitress clean up. He was such a gentleman.

‘Well,’ he started as we ducked under the shutters of the coffee shop and walked onto the very mellow street, ‘can I have your number? I would love to take you out to dinner sometime!’

We exchanged numbers and he enveloped me in an embrace that lasted longer than was necessary, but not as long as an eternity.

When we eventually went our separate ways, I instinctively took out my phone to tell my mam what I had done with my day. I was halfway through writing the text when I got an incoming call. It was from Savi.

‘Hey girl,’ he said, ‘I was just wondering if you’re free for dinner tonight?’

I turned around and there he was smiling like a Cheshire cat.

‘Sorry no,’ I replied, ‘I am already planning to go to dinner with an incredible man’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yea, you see I met him today and…’

Savi started to run over to me. He placed his arms around me and kissed me gently on the cheek. ‘Man have I missed you!’ we giggled.

 

 

picture from pixabay