FLYING SAUCERS

i don't believe in UFOs
i'm not that kind of guy
i don't believe that little men
come flying through the sky

but last week on a friday
i can tell you with no doubt
that i saw flying saucers
that were dancing all about

it was a lazy afternoon
about a half past three
i had a ballgame all prepared
to watch me on TV

my wife was sittin' in my chair
that really makes me seethe
a-watchin' soaps with a giant bag
of cheetos 'tween her knees

i said, "my dear, its baseball time"
she merely made a grunt
so i moved to the TV set
and placed myself in front

she shrieked and told me "move away...
i cannot see my show"
i said, "you must get out of here...
for it is time to go"

she then snatched up that ol' remote
and said, "the hell you say...
i do not think you have the right...
to always get your way"

i scrambled for that ol' remote
it turned into a fight
the more i tried to grab that thing
the more she held on tight

my wife has got a lot of strength
but not as much as me
and i regained that ol' remote
and switched that ol' TV

she went into the kitchen
with a face all pinched and red
and that's when flying saucers
came a-sailin' towards my head