Making women feel Shit.

I love women

Having shared my life with an eclectic selection of them in varying shapes, colours and dispositions I'm aware of the common link that has bonded them all.
Namely a misguided lack of confidence in how fantastic they really look.

Too Fat, too thin, bigger boobs, smaller bum, tauter tummy, longer legs, the list could drag on into a few volumes, but the fact remains that the majority of these lovely creatures are unhappy with some part of their body.
The paradox being that they seem to endlessly torture themselves by purchasing glossy magazines and self help books promising,..

GET A BEACH BODY 3 DAYS!
LOSE A STONE IN 5 MINUTES!
LOSE YOUR MUFFIN TOP BY EATING MUFFINS!
ALL YOU CAN EAT DIET!
(and my own personal favourite which I saw on the best sellers shelf in Waterstones)
THE NO DIET DIET!

Constantly dangling the carrot of self improvement just out of arms reach.

Basically suggest a miraculous cure for a life times anxiety and prefix it to Diet! And you have yourself a best seller.

But Ladies, as a lover of your species and without any condescension, I have to inform you its all a terrible lie that has become a multi million pound industry to capitalise on making you feel shit about yourself.

You think of these publications as friends, but trust me its one sided, a friend wouldn't pretend to help you lose weight, only to flip you the v's behind your back shouting,
'Ha, ha, look at fatty!,' and then offering you a box of doughnuts as an apology.

Lets look at the facts.

A simple rule of any business is profit and repeat custom.
What would be the point in publishing magazines and books that rid their target audience of the things that keep them buying their product?

Any bank manager would laugh you out of the bank quicker than a Greek Greengrocer.

What these body fascists are doing, is subliminally bombarding your heads with images of impossibly beautiful photo shopped models in every form of advertising, making you feel that every pound over 6 stone is akin to harbouring a war criminal, creating a goal totally unreachable without the aid of surgery.

Combine this with articles of how dreadful some ones cellulite, saggy boobs or bingo wings look you have the groundwork for their weekly sales.
Heat magazines circle of shame page where they highlight a celebrities own anxiety in red marker pen to be pointed at borders on criminal.

Its like the drug dealer handing out crack cocaine disguised as sweets to kids at the school gates.

Kids love sweets, women tend to love celebrity gossip, fashion and girl stuff (again without a hint of condescension) these people want you addicted.

Starting from the first magazine or advert that a teenage girl sees, we now have 16 year old girls starving themselves which is as obscene as Jimmy Saville presenting CBeebies .

Its actually an ethically flawed but brilliant bit of business acumen.

Once you find that eating cabbage soup for a week is only going to give credence to the term ' through the eye of of a needle' and make cake more desirable than Brad Pitt in speedos, rather than smelling the bullshit, you believe it's the smell of failure and is yours alone.

But hang on, why not try one of the millions of other bullshitty smelling diets on offer?

And so the cycle continues, as you venture into a week of only eating cornflakes.

They want you to fail, and fail you will, for these things will not work, if they did there wouldnt be any books on it.

These articles, books and magazines can be diluted into one sentence.

If you consume more energy in the day than you exert you will put on weight.

It's a simple science, but not as simple as promising the same effects in 5 days, or as profitable.

For the women reading this do yourselves and womankind a favour and rip up these books and articles and if you are really that unhappy about your weight apply this simple equation.
It's the only one that will truly work, I promise you.

And for the men reading this who share your lives with a woman, try telling them now and again how great they look and hopefully, in the same way that the constant marketing of making them feel inadequate works, they might start to lose the urge to fuel this insidious industry.

And maybe before pointing out the size of her arse, take a look in the mirror at the balding, paunchy man that she loves and lives with.
Because women wouldn't point out your faults, its not what they do.

Personally I have a thing for women with a larger bottom and a liberal amount of flesh and when my wife asks me the perennial, 'Does my bum look too big?'

I reply 'Its beautiful,' as I push a second helping of pasta over the table towards her.