Whispers in a Forest

By Natalia

Sat, 28 Jul 2012
  • 1327 reads
6 comments
 

Armed with my basket did I go
Through the treacherous forest that day
The dead would undoubtedly be lurking
Their cries echoing around me

Solace was scarce
In that place of doom
Quiet but unearthly
And whispering away

My heart
The birds
Thump
Twitter

The whispers increase
A swarm approaches
They swirl around me
Kissing; caressing

And then
All of a sudden
They disappear
As nimbly as they came

And I am left
All
Alone
With my basket

Certificate U
Poem
Fantasy

Comments

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on
Hi Natalia.I think this really builds up the atmosphere very well as it descends into stillness in the last verse. Just a small suggestion, I think 'AS nimbly as they came' might be better than 'So nimbly....' A nice poem. Linda

Linda

Submitted by lavadis on
Nice imagery - well written

 

Submitted by Natalia on
Thank you lavadis

Natalia :)

Submitted by Mark Heathcote on
It has all the atmosphere of little red riding hood and the forest sounds much more like a cemetery than a place to picnic good write! By the way my daughter shares your name – Natalia :)

Mark Heathcote

Submitted by Natalia on
Thanks Mark. Yes I agree, the visual imagery I based the poem on was similar to the whole riding hood background!! I did think that actually... That's so sweet! Cheers to all Natalias out there :) Thanks Daniel! :)

Natalia :)

Submitted by Daniel Saint-John on
Well done, Excelsior!
Excelsior!