Missed Calculus

Sorry I wasn’t in class the other week
I had some trouble
Getting out of bed
You see
After work yesterday my friend took me to Chipotle
And I ate a burrito too fast.
I could feel it unfolding inside of me
And it wasn’t very pleasant
And it made me think of other things
That seem pretty okay but then they get inside of you
And turn into something else.
I wondered if people could be like that
Like beautiful and backtracking
Handsome then heartburn
Until you just want them out.
My mom refers to her divorce so casually
Like it was an oil change or dentist appointment
My dad mentions it like he evacuated a planet
And still isn’t used to the new air.
My tuition hasn’t been paid and I’m just waiting
For the notices
In my mailbox
Telling me to pack up or pay up
But just when I think today is that day
The weather is lovely and beautiful and unsettling
And I’ll ease back in to the spin of the world.
And there’s this boy that leaves me undone
Each time I see him-
He’s got these fantastic eyes
But he doesn’t like it if you point out how childlike he is
Even though it’s what makes him special
To not see the world through the eyes of someone
Nauseous from the spin.
A girl that he thought he could love stopped talking
to him and he doesn’t know why and doesn’t think he ever will
but that’s okay.
I just sat in the passenger seat and said sometimes
that’s what life’s all about.
And the stoplight turned from red to green and he didn’t notice but I did
And I stayed up late thinking about how I didn’t go forward
And maybe I should I have mentioned how love
Wasn’t all fireworks and Facebook likes
It can be as subtle as a change in lighting
A face lit in green before a gas station tapping his fingers on the wheel to a song on the radio
It can be you waking up one morning and finding there’s more to you than there was
Yesterday.
I stayed up late and slept in today and maybe shouldn’t have done that.
I’ll turn in the homework on time
And ask someone what I missed in class
And be there tomorrow for sure.