Blow wind Blow

Cherry

By Parson Thru

Sat, 10 Jan 2015
  • 4698 reads
12 comments
 

Blow, wind, blow!
Your chorus and your overture
The howling pain of every soul
Moans against my window

Rage, storm, rage!
You are the spirit of the age
The fire that burns across the page
A darkening of the stage

Fly, birds, fly!
Take a message to the sky
Carry every anguished cry
That’s uttered as we die

And if, by chance, you find the sun
Ask it where the love has gone
Why beauty falls before the gun

And should you hear the answer, please
Whisper gently to the breeze
To pass it down among the trees
And bear it in a single tongue across the seas

Certificate U
Poem
Mortality Games
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Geoff Smith on

I loved this again - it has something really classy about it - Hardy / Frost / Thomas can't place it but I love it.

I don't like the line: 'How long until the world will live as one' which I think is a bit trite and distracts from the rest of the poem.

If it was me (and of course it isn't!) I would end on the word 'gun' and delete the rest from there down, giving the piece a powerful 'end focus'.

Just going to end by saying that I really love this again, because I really do. Really.

Thanks for reading. I am grateful for your time.

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thanks for the prompt feedback Geoff.

Really helpful.

Thanks for taking the time to read and think on it and thanks again for the tip.

Thanks also for the lovely words.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thank you cherry picker. Lovely of you. Thanks, Geoff Smith for the great suggestion.

Parson Thru

Submitted by celticman on

bit of wind and everyone is spouting poetry. Ha. liked it. 

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

It's the beans. Cheers celt.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Parson Thru on

It's the beans. Cheers celt.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Bee on

Lovely!

Bee

Submitted by Parson Thru on

:-)

Parson Thru

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Splendiferous PT...and I'm suffering with the wind toosmiley or rather my garden fence is.

Seriously though, great stuff.  Enjoyed.

Tina

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Hope your garden fence holds up until calmer weather, Tina. Thank you. Really pleased that you like it. Christmas diet, I reckon.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Love the energy of it, turn that force into something good.

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thank you Philip. We could all do with something positive. Just been showing it to my most ardent critic. :-) She's suggested more work might be required.

Parson Thru