What is this life

Cherry

By Parson Thru

Thu, 03 May 2018
  • 3371 reads
12 comments
 
What is this life, so full of holes
This broken dream of drifting souls
 
What is this cage in which we lie
Between the earthworm and the sky
 
Myriad microcosmic brains
Crowded on the evening trains
 
We stand together all alone
Like Easter Island’s heads of stone
 
Absorbed within an inner world
Of endless stitches slipped and purled
 
Till, finally, running out of light
We journey to the dead of night
 
And stand upon our Alpine shelves
Unknown to anyone but ourselves
 
Where, under fields of stars, we see
Our days in their fragility
 
Small, beyond imagining
A feather on an eagle’s wing
Certificate U
Poem
Mortality Games
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by bosch on

big topic. some very nice images:  Easter Island's heads of stone; a feather on an eagle's wing.

not sure the vey general, gently philisophizing tone of the poem works. anytime one wants to say something "big" one probably should start with a particular and turn inward for expansion. anyway, when one writes a lot one has a lot of starts-and-stops. even when one doesn't write much, like me.

 

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thanks bosch.

Great feedback.  Good point.  You've got me thinking. 

Need to rush out some porridge prior to the next lesson.

Will continue thinking.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

'what is this life if, full of care, etc' - do you know that one parson? Same lovely lilting rhythm. I enjoyed that, and yours very much!

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Exacto, Insert! WH Davies. Had to look it up.

An old school days favourite. I've moved away from form really, but those initial lines were rattling around in my head the other night and I had to grab a pad and write down the first two lines of this. I've been carrying them around ever since and finally bashed something out of it this afternoon. Ideas coming together. Now maybe I've exorcised it.

I decided not to copy the coda.

Good point from bosch. I might try doing something else with it at some point.

Thank you for the cherries. Nice to see the site looking healthy.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

The first five verses are impressive, PT.

Though impressed by our fragility and smallness towards the end of life, we will find out that we arent unknown to anyone but ourselves or reach just dead, dark night. Rhiannon
 

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

I'm impressed and cheered, as ever, by your faith, Rhiannon.

Thanks for the warm words, too. X

Parson Thru

Submitted by Di_Hard on

 

"Crowded on the evening trains
 
We stand together all alone
Like Easter Island’s heads of stone"

The other lines are good but feel this is really special. Could you explore in a further poem?

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

I pinched the Easter Island heads from Elsie Katz, I think it was. :)

Thank Di_Hard. Will have a think.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Di_Hard on

"...great artists steal" :0)

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

And lousy ones, too...

:))

Your comments are a tonic, Di_Hard. Just need a gin now. (Never ruin good vodka)

Parson Thru

Submitted by PoetonaHill on

Like this PT. Really good use of metaphor and simile. Good stuff.

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thanks, poetonahill.

Parson Thru