Wreck

By Parson Thru

Fri, 20 Nov 2020
  • 1361 reads
9 comments
 

It lies gashed and pierced;

Maleficent and groaning;

Discharging bilge.

A mire for the curious

And well-intentioned;

Corrosive end of life swamp.

The sun sinks behind an empty citadel.

Surf offloads excretions on the strand.

The townsfolk, as they promenade

Along the cobb, pass the time of day.

Certificate U
Poem
Mortality Games
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Visual. Vivid. Excellent.

Tom Brown

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thanks Tom. I'm struggling with the last two lines.

Parson Thru

Submitted by marandina on

I agree - very visual. Very nicely put together.

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thanks marandina. I'm struggling with the last two lines.

Great name.

Parson Thru

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I like the idea of townsfolk as they promenade, I picture an old painting from bygone years, those cobbled streets leading down to a bay where an old wreck sits washed up by the tide.

Really ejoyed the picture you captured...well for me anyway.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thanks Jenny. Should I keep it in? It just seemed a little bathetic after the rest. Is that a real adjective (bathos)?

Parson Thru

Submitted by Parson Thru on

It's my out of date / behind the times attempt at a little Symbolist / Imagist piece.

Parson Thru

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I personally would keep it, just reminded me of Victorian era in happier times, when ladies walked arm in arm along the promenade. But that's just me. smiley

Hope it helps.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thanks Jenny!

Parson Thru