A Door (a play)

Ext. near a small hill

MAN#1:
What's that?

MAN#2:
A door.

MAN#1:
But what's it doing there?

MAN#2:
You mean on top of that hill, where it has inexplicably appeared overnight?

MAN#1:
Yes.

MAN#2:
I have no idea.

MAN#1:
Shall we go and have a look at it?

MAN#2:
It's only a door.

MAN#1:
But it might be a magical door! A portal to another world! An entrance through which all who pass will be transported to another dimension!

MAN#2:
Okay.

[ MAN#1 and MAN#2 walk up to the door. It is wooden and red - it looks like it has just been painted yesterday. It stands vertically atop the hill, within its beautifully varnished wooden frame, as if it is just begging to be opened. ]

MAN#1:
You first.

MAN#2:
You what?

MAN#1:
Open the door.

MAN#2:
Why me?

MAN#1:
I'm... a little scared.

MAN#2:
Of what?

MAN#1:
Where it may lead.

MAN#2:
But we can see where it will lead [ he points ] - to that bit of grass there.

MAN#1:
But it may not.

MAN#2:
How will it not? We can see the other side of the door!

MAN#1:
But it might be--

MAN#2:
--yes, a magical door, you said. Well there's only one way to find out, isn't there?

MAN#1:
How's that?

MAN#2:
Open the friggin' door!

[ MAN#1 tentatively approaches the door. He slowly reaches out his hand and grasps the shiny brass knob. He turns it. He pushes. The door starts to open with just a hint of a squeak. ]

MAN#2:
Go on then.

MAN#1:
What?

MAN#2:
Go through the door.

MAN#1:
But I--

[ MAN#2 gives MAN#1 a sturdy shove. ]

MAN#1:
Aaaagh! [ stumbles through the door and collapses in a heap on the other side ]

MAN#2:
Well then?

MAN#1:
[ wiping dirt off himself ] You pushed me!

MAN#2:
Yeah, sorry about that. But is it?

MAN#1:
Is it what?

MAN#2:
A magical door. A portal to another world. An entrance through which all who pass will be transported to another dimension.

MAN#1:
Is it buggery; it's just a door.

MAN#2:
Told you.

[ Exeunt ]