The Origin of the Eucharist

After a hard day’s sermoning, Jesus (who was the Christ) was sitting in a dark corner of a tavern, having a glass of wine and some bread. He also had a pint of ale and some nuts on the go. He just wanted some peace, but some of His followers came in, saw Him and said:

“Tell us something wise, O Holy One!”

Doesn’t a Messiah get some time off?, thought the Son of God, as He considered consulting His union.

“Please, Mr Christ, share the Word of God!”

‘Mr Christ’?, thought Jesus. Jesus...

But reluctantly He looked around Him, seeking inspiration. He was a bit schlozzled, being on His third glass of el vino, so He wasn’t thinking particularly straight...

“These nuts are my... no, not the nuts... the bread! The bread is my, um, y’know...”

“Body?,” said His followers.

“Yes, that’s it! And my blood is... uh...” - He took a sip of ale.

“The wine?”

“Oh I forgot I had that - yes, I suppose that makes sense.”

“Giz some then,” said His followers.

And lo the Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist was, you know, first done and that.

Amen.